The Rankings - 1998

The 1998 line might be perfect.  Not that it was all things to all collectors.  But, it had everything right going for it.  The toys were cheap and plentiful upon their release.  Hasbro offered collector themed sets that were still fun.  The figures featured most of their original accessories or, at least, gear that was robust and appropriate for the figure. The line wasn't overly large.  But, was still broad enough to be interesting.  And, there wasn't really a dud among the toys released that year.  I'll argue that the worst 1998 figure would rank in the top 3 to 5 of 1997 and 2000.  It was just an amazing year of figures.  It might be my personal favorite year of releases, ever.  

Really, I started the ranking series because I wanted to showcase the entire year of 1998.  I profiled most of the figures in the set a decade or more ago.  So, I wanted to get back to the year and remember why they resonated so deeply with me.  Part of it was that I was a young collector with money and time living in a place where I had access to tons of these figures.  Part is that the figures were all molds or characters in which I had interest prior to their release.  And, part is just that the figures all turned out exceptionally well.  It's hard to compare 1998 with 2001 as those two years seem as far apart as 1985 and 1993.  But, Hasbro really dialed in the 1998 releases after the lackluster reception to the 1997 series.  So, check out the list and see if you agree with my choices.

#15 - Heavy Duty

When Heavy Duty is the worst figure from your year, you know it was a strong crop of figures.  I didn't get this guy until 2000.  I skipped the MOBAT because it sucks.  But, the figures included with it were strong.  Heavy Duty is one of those guys who, at first blush, doesn't appear all that colorful.  But, in hand, he's got some strong paint details and uses some colors that aren't often seen in the Joe line.  But, he's kind of bland.  He doesn't include any accessories.  And, the 1991 figure is better.  So, he falls to the bottom of the year.

#14 - Col. Brekhov

The Red Star mold is great.  The 1991 release features excellent colors.  This 1998 repaint that was renamed Col. Brekhov isn't quite as strong.  Again, he features excellent overall colors and paint masks.  But, the pea green isn't as appealing as the brown on the 1991 repaint.  Even the comic, though, made a joke about Red Star just being Col. Brekhov.  So, this figure mold was very designed to be the character for which he was used in the 1998 series.  There's no shame in being #14 on this list, though, as the rest of the figures are just so strong.

#13 - Ace

This figure's price makes no sense.  He's not that great.  Even though he is the best paint job of the Ace mold.  Seeing people pay hundreds of dollars for him is just asinine.  This Ace does, though, feature some great paint masks and it remains the most detailed use of the 1983 Ace mold.  When he was cheap, the figure was a no brainer.  Now that he's stupidly pricey, he's a much more unnecessary purchase.  Sure, he looks good.  But, he's not 10 times better than the 1983 Ace.  I'm glad I got one when they were affordable.

#12 - Cobra Officer

Since 1984, collectors had wanted more grey Cobras to match up with the Stinger driver.  14 years later, Hasbro delivered.  The result is very strong.  So, why's he at 12?  Because all of 1998 is awesome.  And, the grey color scheme on the Viper body just didn't pop.  The silver is too close in hue to the grey background and it washes out the painted details that should make the figure among the best of the year.  I wonder if a gold faceplate might have helped.  

#11 - Wet Suit

It's tough to rank the divers.  All of them are pretty similar.  And, none of them stand out from the others.  At this point, it's subjective among your personal favorite mold.  For me, Wet Suit ranks lowest as he's not the best paint job on this mold.  He's awesome.  But, the other two, to me, are better.

#10 - Torpedo

Torpedo is my least favorite of the molds that were released in the diver set.  But, the paint job on him really made the sculpt pop.  The aqua and grey offset against the black base body make for a striking figure.  He really works well and is the best paint job ever released on this mold.  This was my first exposure to this figure mold.  So, the 1992 and 1993 Wet Suits always paled in comparison to this black based 1998 use.  I am happy that Hasbro renamed this mold into Torpedo instead of reusing the 1983 Torpedo mold.  While that might have been a fun figure with the aqua highlights, the 1983 mold has severe limitations and wouldn't have fit with the rest of the 1998 series.

#09 - Shipwreck

Shipwreck is an amazing figure.  Again, the colors work so well for a diver.  And, I love the 1994 Shipwreck mold.  The painted details shows how much thought when into the 1994 Shipwreck release.  Back in 1998, the 1994 Shipwreck was among my top five figures.  So, seeing it available in some new colors was a dream come true.  While I loved the entire diver set, I bought several because of this Shipwreck's inclusion.  Even today, I haven't profiled this figure because I haven't found a way to properly express just how cool I think he is.  So, why is he only #9?  The lack of an included weapon is the main reason.  In later years, Hit and Run rifles became very easy to acquire so you could outfit these older figures with proper weaponry.  But, in 1998, it was pretty hard to get extra guns without buying junk figures.  So, this Shipwreck takes a tumble on the list due to his poor accessory complement.  

#08 - Vypra

I'm not a Vypra fan.  Never have been.  I even skipped this set at retail because I had no use for the figure and vintage Stingers were cheaper than the TRU version at the time.  But, I have come around on her.  She's still too tied to the "evil Jinx" trope just because they share a mold.  But, the paint masks really work for her.  The white and grey oversprays do create a strong visual.  As the original Jinx isn't a figure that's important to me, I've come to see this mold as more Vypra than anyone else.  I still don't use her all that often.  And, while her paint masks are good, they are also a bit sparse.  Vypra fits the visual style of the 1998 series.  But, to me, she's a middle of the road release.

#07  - Volga

I did not appreciate Volga for many years.  Her head is just such a poor sculpt that it's easy to overlook the rest of the figure.  But, Volga's paint details are amazing.  After 1998, we would never see such quality outside of an expensive convention figure.  Hasbro's inability to nail vintage Joe head sculpting also didn't change.  So, Volga's head has held up better than it should have because Hasbro was churning out stomach turning heads through the remainder of the 2000's.  This figure was intended to be Daina.  No idea why it was a made a new character, instead.  The 1997 Lady Jaye mold suffered from quality issues.  Volga is better.  She's definitely aged better than I would have thought back in 1998.  It's not a perfect figure.  But, the paint applications really are.

#06 - Night Creeper

It pains me to rank this guy so low.  Not only is this the best paint job on the Night Creeper mold, it's a stark visual that stands in contrast to all the deeply colored ninjas that populate the line's history.  The white and grey just work on this mold.  You can see all the folds and details on the figure's body and head.  It's colorful enough to be seen.  But, still white enough to be stealthy in the snow.  I lament selling my spares of these figures as a small army of them would be fun to take out in the cold.

#05 - Lt. Gorky

If you've never seen this figure in person, it's difficult to explain how great he really is.  He suffers from the same overly grey body as the Cobra Officer.  But, he overcomes that with a few splashes of color on his face, neck and waist.  It's enough to elevate him quite a bit.  He also features different shades of grey on the chest.  It's subtle.  But, it's enough to add a completely different visual layer to this figure when compared to the Officer.  Photos don't really do the figure justice as he's impressive when he's in hand.

#04 - Snow Serpent

Hasbro nailed it with the 1998 Artic color scheme.  They managed to make the figures realistic to their environment while also giving them the colors and details that make for a great toy.  Their usage of the 1991 Snow Serpent mold seemed like a poor decision in 1998.  The 1985 Snow Serpent was held in much higher regard.  But, this color scheme brought a whole new generation of collectors to appreciate the 1991 sculpt.  The soft greys, subtle blues and perfect usage of black detailing brought this mold to life.  And, he included his full range of accessories.  This Snow Serpent might be a perfect figure.  And, yet, he's not in the top 3 for the year!

#03 - Cobra Trooper

A better Cobra Trooper/Viper or backbone of your Cobra army figure does not exist.  This 1998 Trooper is everything every collector wanted from an army building figure in 1998.  And, Hasbro delivered.  The figure uses a base color of real Cobra blue.  All of his details are painted in black or silver.  The golden visor isn't overbearing and adds additional depth the figure's appearance.  While his gear isn't true to the original, it was a perfect complement of accessories stolen from the obscure 1991 Dusty that filled out the Trooper's accoutrement.  The only two blemishes on the figure are the fact that the head can droop a bit and that he doesn't feature a Cobra sigil.  Both are forgivable and don't take away from the quality of this figure.  Hasbro never got close to this guy in another retail release.  (The convention Crimson Viper uses the same paint masks from the 1998 figure and is a strong runner up in the best Viper repaint, though.)  It is a perfect army builder and was released in the perfect army building set.  You got two of this guy and a grey officer for $10!  In the context of today, that's just insanity...even in 1998 it was unbelievable.

#02 - Firefly

You can say I rate the 1998 arctic Cobras too highly.  But, this 1998 Firefly is perfect repaint.  At the time, he was only the second Firefly ever available.  He was drastically different from the original.  But, he was enhanced in ways that blew the 1984 out of the water.  Instead of a dark grey on light grey wash, the figure gets the requisite white base.  Then, though, all of the details that were obscured in Firefly's original release are painted to perfection.  Colors are blended so that his pouches, grenades, knife and explosives all offset each other and allow you to fully appreciate the sculpting job that had been created 14 years earlier.  These Firefly paint masks then became the base for all the excellent Firefly updates we got in the 2000's, too.  In short, this is a spectacular figure that is worthy of the Firefly character.

#01 - Thunderwing

Yes, it's a surprise entry for the best figure of the 1998 release year.  Thunderwing is another of those figures that, if you don't have one, is tough to see just how great the design, coloring and paint applications really are.  Thunderwing uses a green base color that is unique to him.  It wasn't used again on any other figures.  Building silver, grey and black paint masks on top of it layered in a depth that was standard in the vintage line but largely lost after about 1992.  The rich use of color makes this figure stand out among his peers.  And, even among the line as a whole.  Thunderwing shows what was possible during the repaint era.  Sadly, though, he remained the exception rather than the rule.  Do yourself a favor, though, and pick up a Thunderwing.  You won't be disappointed.

There's a lot of reasons why the 1998 series is special to me.  But, the sheer quality of the entire lineup is the most important of those.  Comparing 1998 to the 2000 and 2001 releases shows just how far those later years fell in quality.  I actually now kind of see 1998 as a pseudo convention set.  You got 15 figures who featured great accessories, remarkable paints masks and a thoughtful mold selection.  The figures look like they were designed to all fit together.  Really, it would have been the best convention set ever released.

Instead, it was released at retail and was stupidly cheap.  Looking back at 1998 prices, we had no idea how good we had it.  Well, that might be a bit of a stretch.  I bought these figures en masse.  Many other collectors of the time did, too.  Armies of the Cobras were a standard for a while.  The influx of collectors in 2001, though, made the 1998's more exotic and expensive.  So, they fell from favor even as they rose in price.  That was short lived, though, and many later collectors were able to stock up on these guys during the late 2010's.  Now, the series is a bit harder to find and will cost you a premium.  (Especially, and inexplicably! for Ace.)  But, they are worth it.  1998 might be the perfect year of Joe releases.  I'm curious to read your thoughts in the comments and whether you agree or disagree.

The Rankings - 1983 Original 13

Everybody loves rankings, right?  There's no better way to start a pointless argument than to rank items that hold unique, special places to each collector.  Once upon a time, I tried to write up a completely objective ranking of the original 13 Joe figures.  But, even with the stated goal of erasing childhood nostalgia from the equation, the list was pretty much my personal favorites with a few guys bumped up a spot or two.  So, why bother with any of that pretext?  Instead, I'm going with a straight ranking of my favorite figures: starting with the original 13.  I'm only using swivel arm versions as I don't collect straight arms.  And, I'll do the "new" 1983 figures some other time.  I'm not sure I'll get to every year because I'll get bored of it long before I would ever endeavor to slog through all the 1993 releases.  But, I'm going to start with the year that's sure to elicit some opinions.  

The thing is, there are no wrong opinions about these figures.  If Short Fuse holds dear, core memories for you, that's a story worth telling in the comments.  The point of this isn't to challenge your beliefs.  Instead, it's to memorialize mine and prompt a modicum of discussion.  So, on with the show....

#13 - Short Fuse

I just can't get into Short Fuse.  He was never a player in my collection.  He didn't have much of a characterization in the comic other than being an annoying hot head.  And, his weapon wasn't conducive to childhood play.  But, really, he's kind of boring.  His chests harness isn't the greatest design.  But, he's also in a green that's similar to other figures.  So, you don't really feel like you're getting anything special with this figure.  Zap is a better use of the mold.  Hawk is a better use of the head.  I know we had one when I was a kid.  But, mostly, I remember him from the fact that I noticed his mortar mold changed and it was also knocked off by, I think, Galoob for some of their action figure lines.  That's not much of a legacy.

#12 - Grunt

I'm not a Grunt fan.  Never have been.  I've always found him to be boring.  To be fair, I missed the silver knife on his chest...a feature that captivated me when we got a Tan Grunt in 1983.  But, I still see this guy as just a basic infantryman.  His M-16 never clicked with me, either.  It broke thumbs in 1982.  I did love his backpack.  I gave it to Clutch so I didn't waste it on Grunt.  There's not much too him and he lacks the skills to really set himself apart from his more specialized team mates.  At some point in late 1982 or early 1983, we buried a bunch of Joes behind some bricks that lined the stairs up the hill in our front yard.  I remember pulling a well worn Grunt and Stalker out of the space a few years later.  That's about the extent of his use.  He and Short Fuse remain my least used figures of the original series of Joes.

#11 - Hawk

Let's face two facts.  Visually, Grunt is a better figure than Hawk.  And, the debut figure of Joe's leader kind of sucks.  But, I give Hawk the edge over Grunt due to the silver trim dominating the figure.  It gives him a more commanding presence.  And, the over abundance of silver does give Hawk a defining look.  There's not much else going on here, though.  So, he ranks pretty low.  I snapped the thumb of my 1982 Hawk when I tried to give him a Battle Gear M-16.  After that, the character disappeared until the amazing 1986 upgrade came around.  Hawk looks good.  But, if I want to use Hawk, I'll almost never choose this figure.

#10 - Grand Slam

Grand Slam and Flash  share the same mold.  The darker green on Grand Slam is a definite downgrade over the brighter green that Flash uses.  As a kid, we only had a straight arm Grand Slam.  The Silver Pads version was my Grand Slam.  I used him as a derivative of Flash, though.  The lack of accessories drops Grand Slam down a bit.  But, this figure does get a lot more use from me now.  Mostly, that's due to the fact that Grand Slam has remained pretty obscure over the years.  And, he's a guy who holds a certain, undeserved reputation for being rarer than other figures.  This is a function of the Silver Pads version.  But, photos with this original Grand Slam tend to do well since people don't see him all that often.  I definitely use this guy more than this low ranking would suggest.

#09 - Breaker

Breaker was my first Joe.  It pains me to rank him this low.  But, Breaker kind of marks a point in the line where every figure from here on out is pretty strong.  I ended up ranking him lower because there's not a lot of paint on him and he lacks a firearm.  That's made up for by his strong accessories, though.  His communications headset might be my favorite single accessory from the original 13.  And, it was a staple of my Joe world: even long after Breaker had fallen apart.  He's a mainstay in my HQ: helming the computer console.  And, I even use him as the second passenger in the VAMP.  Breaker remains a nostalgic favorite.  And, his low rank is just indicative of how strong the first wave of Joes was.

#08 - Snake Eyes

Yeah, I get it.  The "all black" was a design choice.  But, it's also limiting on this figure.  And, the 1997 and later repaints that added just one or two paint applications showed that just a little bit of color would break this guy up and make for a better figure.  But, Snake Eyes also features some unique parts.  The bomb on his leg is a feature that's really ignored and speaks to the figure's intentions of being a commando instead of a super human ninja.  His gear was also pretty strong.  The Uzi is synonymous with Snake Eyes and remains a mainstay of the character to this day.  There is something about the all black appearance of the original design that is lost when you paint up some details.  But, were this figure not super popular and somewhat expensive, he'd have little reason to be used over the later repaints of this mold.

#07 - Zap

My youngest brother got a Zap when he went to visit my grandparents in early 1983.  Before the figure came home, both Zap's thumbs were broken.  So, Zap wasn't a part of our childhood collection.  But, he's a figure whose importance grew as an adult collector.  Very early on in my collecting journey, I got obsessed over Zap.  So, he was among the only early figures I sought out to add to my collection in 1999-2000.  He didn't disappoint.  His unique color and strong gear add up to a fun figure.  Were mine not suffering from a snapped o-ring and stuck back screw, I'd use him in photos much more often.  No later homage to this original Zap was able to live up to this original version. (Though, the Super Sonic Fighters Zap is among the better character upgrades Hasbro ever did.)  The swivel arm version remains expensive due to the ubiquity of snapped thumbs.  But, he's worth having around.

#06 - Steeler

If you were missing just one of the original 13 figures back in 1982 and 1983, it was probably Steeler.  Being the driver of the line's most expensive vehicle meant he was often absent from otherwise complete collections.  Steeler features a unique chest piece.  That alone makes him useful.  But, he's also a great match for the Mauler and Slugger, giving him some versatility among later vehicles that was often lacking from his contemporaries.  His binocular helmet attachment was neat and gave him more visual distinction.  And, he even included an Uzi, something also unique to him as a vehicle driver.  I use Steeler more than most of the other original 13 figures.  Though, that's also because I have a spare that's easily accessible.  But, he's deserving of his spot.

#05 - Scarlett

Scarlett's a tough one.  From a sheer design standpoint, she might be the second best figure in the original lineup.  Her sculpt is amazingly detailed.  And, that's often glossed over.  Her unique color really stood out among the sea of Green that was the original wave.  And, it allowed her to evolve with the line and remain complementary with figures that were released years later.  It's tough to find a Scarlett that hasn't discolored.  And, that really limits her.  And, the 2003 repaint of this mold was better.  Even the 1997 is strong, though, it's very different from the 1982 coloring.  So, her lower ranking here is a function of those later figures being more interesting than the first design.

#04 - Clutch

Clutch was my favorite Joe right from the get go.  His unique chest with the holstered pistol was a drawing point.  I gave him a visor, Stalker's gun and Grunt's backpack to make him the most badass fighter the Joes would ever see.  Years later, even a straight arm Clutch retained relevance in my collection because he was so well done.  He's at home when he's behind the wheel of any early Joe vehicle.  And, you can use him sans vehicle as well.  I still refer to this head sculpt as the "Clutch" head as I feel he owned the design the best and made it his own.

#03 - Stalker

Stalker stands out due to his cammo pattern.  It was a unique look among the original figures.  And, it gave him depth beyond the reuse of the standard grenade and knife torso.  His head also featured a sculpted head covering with his green beret.  It made the figure a quick favorite.  The prominence of the character in the comic helped hold him over and made Stalker among the more popular characters in the line.  Stalker had a ton of great character updates.  (I'll maintain the '89 Stalker is one of the best updates any character ever got.)  But, none of them treaded over this original version.  Even today, an original Stalker can intermingle with figures from all years and not look out of place.  I wish the Comic Pack versions had been better.  But, we have the 1997 figure, which might be even better than the 1983.  Any way you look at it, though, the combo of figure and character puts Stalker near the top.

#02 - Flash

Flash is the best designed figure of the original 13.  He features a nice shade of green on his base layer.  He is then accentuated by a brilliant red chest, leg and arm pads.  These give him a startling appearance among his peers.  Were that not enough, though, the entirety of the red is outlined by a silver trim.  All of these colors carry over to his back, too.  In short, the sculpting was miles ahead of what other toy lines were doing.  And, then, Hasbro gave us the real kicker: his accessories.  Flash got the standard helmet.  But, you really get the impression that the standard clear visor was actually designed for Flash first and then ported to other figures.  His backpack is an intricate mess of technology.  And, it all culminates in a laser rifle that can plug into the pack.  The combo of sculpting, color and gear makes Flash tough to beat.  In fact, he should be number 1.  But, he's beat out for one simple reason that you'll see next.

#01 - Rock and Roll

Rock and Roll isn't the best figure among the original 13.  But, he's the one I use the most.  Part of it is that his simplicity works for his specialty.  But, he also features a unique torso and an amazing weapon.  I happen like the character, too.  I remember Rock and Roll as the crazed madman from "Hot Potato" in the first issue of the comic.  But, he later became a bit more mellow.  And, this made him interesting.  He was supposed to be "replaced" by Roadblock.  But, he stayed on the team and remained an integral part of the story until the very end.  The gold bullets really make Rock and Roll stand out.  And, it gives him more bulk, even if he's the same size as the rest of his friends.  I use this figure constantly.  I bought a spare just so I could use him more often.  It happened to the mail away version, which was a nice surprise.  (Things like that used to happen all the time.)  So, Rock and Roll gets my top spot just because he's a guy who resonates with me and gets used all the time.  It's no more complicated than that.

So, there you have it.  That's my ranking of the first 13 G.I. Joe figures.  What are you thoughts?  The great theme of the Joe line is that was designed to appeal to every kid.  So, different parts grabbed then attention of different kids as the time.  I have plans to continue this series.  It won't be chronological.  But, you'll see them pop up and we can discuss some of the different years and how the figures stack up.