1988 Windmill

It's the last day of the year and the decade of the 2010's.  Really, the past 10 years haven't been great for collectors of vintage Joes.  It started off strongly as vintage pricing was way down, availability was way up and factory custom makers were starting to come online with their wares.  But, that was really the high point.  While we've seen great factory customs come to dominate the vintage Joe space, we've also a radical uptick in vintage pricing that's making the hobby much less fun since figures are now seen as valued commodities instead of the toys they are.  All that being said, though, I still have time to fit in a final profile of the year.  There's a well known strategy where you dump unpopular items at an unpopular time so that you don't waste the more valuable slots with content that isn't likely to generate any interest.  With that in mind, I present the 1988 Windmill.

Windmill has only been a part of my collection due to Funskool's take on the mold.  With that figure in hand, there is simply no reason to look elsewhere for the character.  But, the Indian figure exists because Hasbro sculpted this figure in the late 1980's and tossed him into a vehicle.  Windmill is a far cry from the days of Crankcase, Heavy Metal, or even Backstop.  He's not the worst figure in the line.  But, he's in the discussion.  The figure's colors, design and overall sculpting show a slippage in the quality Joe aficionados had come to expect.  In reality, Windmill was nothing more than another example of the diminished paint applications that were the hallmark of the entire 1988 series.  But, to a collector who only discovered him as an adult, Windmill has an insurmountable amount of detriments in his way to ever gaining appreciation.

I'm not real sure what happened with the 1988 vehicle drivers...at least on the Joe side.  The Cobras are passable and not really any worse than other years.  But, the Joes really took a turn for the worse.  Skidmark and Windmill introduce bright green and orange to the pantheon of vehicle driver colors.  Armadillo is another terrible figure.  Wildcard is poorly done (though he has great gear!).  Ghostrider seems acceptable just due to the horror of his contemporaries.  Though, he suffers from many of the same issues as Windmill.  Only the Sgt. Slaughter figure really stands out.  A few of the molds could be salvaged with better paint.  But, that's asking a lot from a crop of figures that really nosedived in quality.

My first issue with Windmill is that he's two tone.  His body is just pea-green and orange.  None of the mold details are painted.  He features an interesting sculpted air mask on his chest.  (The same idea was used on Ghostrider so it seems Hasbro was testing out some new ideas to save money on these figures.  Fortunately, the abandoned it and real air masks returned in subsequent years.)  But, the mask is not even painted.  With a few paint applications, Windmill would be substantially better.  But, the cost savings really hurt the figure's overall appearance.  My main issue, though, is the figure's head.  I'm not sure what's going on here.  But, the horns neither make sense nor look cool.  If the helmet was removable, the figure might be salvageable.  But, the head sculpt is just so terrible and atop the subpar body, we're left with a terrible representation of a figure.

The good news is that Windmill includes a big honking revolver.  With him, it looks a bit out of place.  However, it is a good fit with some other figures...especially the 1988 Sgt. Slaughter.  The most notable thing about the weapon is that it is incorrectly placed with about 64.3% of the "complete" Downtown figures that you see for sale these days.  The upside is that, occasionally, you'll get a Downtown pistol listed with a complete Windmill, too.  The gun, though, is relatively unique and is something worth having.  Even if it's out of place with Windmill, it works well enough in a broader collection and it's worth buying a Windmill just to get the weapon.

Windmill appeared just twice.  This original version and aforementioned Funskool version mark the only appearances of this mold.  The 1988 and 1989 vehicle drivers suffered cruel fates.  Hasbro sold a large chunk of them off to Olmec toys in the 1990's where they were used as the Bronze Bombers.  Those who survived that purge were very likely to appear in India.  Funskool produced a large number of vehicle driver molds.  And, had their line continued, there would have been more of them released in the standard series.  Hasbro didn't do much with the few molds they had left and the 1988 figures were not among the molds Hasbro recalled from Funskool.  (Not that it would have mattered since Hasbro never used most of the molds Funskool gave back...depriving collectors of additional production years of many of our favorites.)  But, really, this mold isn't worth trying to remake into something cool.  The fact that a foreign repaint exists is more than this mold deserves but gives those who enjoy Windmill something else to find.

Today, you'll see collector grade Windmills fetch $15 from time to time.  But, if you take 10 minutes to look, you can get the same, mint and complete figure for about $6 without too much trouble.  Nobody really likes this figure.  And, the pricing is just indicative of the growing power that dealers have in the Joe marketplace.  Since he's worth peanuts, there's no reason to not own one...except, you know, because the figure sucks.  But, Windmill is a relic of his time and shows how the Joe line was starting to change with the marketplace as a new generation of kids came of age in the late 1980's and early 1990's.

Dhalsim - Street Fighter Movie Edition Around the Web

Dhalsim is an interesting figure and one of the few Street Fighter figures that calls my collection home.  Really, my interest in him is limited to the lab coat.  But, the character could be interesting.  In looking for content on him, you get tons of Street Fighter sites.  But, none of them ever talk about this 25 year old action figure.  It's too bad because the figure is fun to have and proves a good foil for several Joes.  There's really no content I could find on the figure.  So, here's some updated photos I've taken through the years.

Dhalsim Profile

Dhalsim at The Unofficial Street Fighter Movie Fan Site

2002 Big Ben - Wave 2

In 2002, Hasbro had a massive plan to bring G.I. Joe back to retail.  The figures were re-designed into a more modern aesthetic and were given a marketing overhaul to usher in a third generation of kids to the G.I. Joe mythos.  But, on the way to glory and riches, Hasbro hit a little snag.  It turns out that a vocal group of adult collectors were not 100% on board with the new direction the figures were taking.  At the time, companies still didn't know how to properly gauge internet outrage.  But, they were wary of it.  And, a few Star Wars missteps had given Hasbro a blueprint on how to handle adult collectors.  So, interspersed among the new figure styles were a smattering of repainted vintage Joe figures.  These repaints helped lower the costs of the retail line while keeping collectors engaged.  However, you could easily argue the efficacy of their efforts as the repaints quickly turned into repetitive figure releases done in oddball colors.  One figure that best showcases the blending of old paint mask costs versus the blase design was the 2002 Big Ben.

Big Ben was released twice in 2002.  (Which made less sense when you realize that Big Ben/Whiteout 2 packs from the early 2001 figure waves were still collecting dust at stores around the U.S. and Canada.)  The first release was a very solid tan and green design who meshed well with General Tomahawk and Sure Fire from the Wave 1.5 releases.  This wave was a bone thrown to vintage Joe collectors to sate their appetite for classic molds while also buying Hasbro time to update the sculpting on the Wave 2 "new sculpt" figures to now include the iconic o-ring.  The wave was well done, but massively overproduced.  Even the two highly desired army builders were abundantly available.  The second Big Ben, though, was included as a shortpack in the Wave 2 cases.  Again, Big Ben, Alley Viper, Mirage and the Cobra Viper were perks for long time vintage Joe collectors.  Collectors were given new army builder repaints while also getting updated paint jobs on some solid Joe molds.  The second Big Ben, though, featured an odd color scheme that makes him stand out in both good and bad ways.

This figure uses some of the same colors and paint masks as the Wave 1.5 figure.  The greens are compatible (which actually helps if you army built both figures) and the bullets feature a rich golden color that's better offset by a black bandolier.  Big Ben's head, though, is one solid color.  If you mix and match heads, you can get some more interesting combos of Big Ben.  But, both 2002 releases feature paint masks missing on the other.  It's kind of weird.  His pants are a fairly ugly brown.  But, they don't really clash with the blue coat.  So, it kind or works.  Big Ben's hands are meant to be gloved.  And, all the releases prior to 2002 featured gloved hands.  Hasbro went with flesh hands on both 2002 releases and it doesn't really work.

What do you do with a figure who's primary color is baby blue?  Big Ben's arctic type design works in his favor in regards to the color choice.  There is a surplus of blue ice in many arctic environments.  So, Big Ben could blend into the background in locations like that.  Otherwise, the color is one of many in the history of the Joe line that make little sense but are kind of fun to look at.  But, that's the reason I like him.  The early 2000's vintage Joe repaints were heavy on green and brown and all kind of blended together.  A figure like this Big Ben stood out for how different it was.  Sure, that difference means it's completely forgotten today.  But, it also broke up otherwise banal releases of that era.  The vintage Joe line was a panoply of color.  Many collectors choose to not remember it that way.  But, looking at carded figures arranged by year proves that figures like this Big Ben were the norm from the beginning.

The soft plastic used on the early 2000's era Joes is turning out to be somewhat problematic.  Many figures from this era, even properly stored, are starting to discolor.  Whites are starting to tinge yellow.  (Star Wars figures from that time used similar plastic and Stormtroopers and Clones from that time are starting to drastically yellow.  It's sad to see mighty Imperial armies fade away due to shoddy materials.)  But, light blues are proving to be especially hard hit.  Figures like the Comic Pack Scarlett, Scrap Iron and Thrasher all discolor with slight provocation.  And, collectors are starting to find that even figs packed away in dry basements are starting to turn.  This Big Ben uses the same colors and you see many samples where fading has already kicked in.  It's probably inevitable that these figures will turn in time.  You can only take measures to postpone the degradation.  But, you see lots of Big Bens where the arms or chest are losing their original color and it's only going to get worse.

The 2002 Big Ben figures include the same gear.  But, the colors are slightly different.  This blue Big Ben includes his classic rifle, satchel and two grenades.  Hasbro included a bonus Snow Job rifle with the figure to make up for the missing bi-pod and backpack.  The absence of the pack is a nuisance.  But, the Gift Set Dial Tone from the same year (and Recondo that was released in 2003) both include black versions of the original Big Ben pack that work perfectly with this blue release.  It should be noted that Big Ben's weapons and grenades are a unique, graphite color.  They have a bit of a sheen to them that makes them distinct.  (This color was used on the weapons included with the Alley Viper, Viper and Mirage, too.)  Black versions of Big Ben's gear are more common and many collectors who tossed gear into bins during this era are likely to think the two Big Ben's have the same weapons.  So, when buying this Big Ben, be sure to confirm the weapon color to ensure you're getting the correct versions.

This Big Ben figure was only packed one per case in Wave 2 of the 2002 G.I. Joe vs. Cobra line.  Despite the shortpacking and his inclusion with an all powerful army builder, this figure was fairly easy to find.  G.I. Joe had a huge retail push in 2002 and stores received plenty of cases.  Brisk sales also ensured that stock was replenished.  I was still finding this figure at retail into the early months of 2003.  But, the shortpacking has somewhat caught up with this figure and you do not see him with anywhere near the frequency that you can find his far more common Wave 1.5 brethren.  But, since this is a very undesirable look for the character, you can still get mint and complete with filecard versions for $4 - $6.  In this day of stupid Joe prices, that's a relative bargain.  But, better Big Ben figures are just as cheap.  So, outside of the oddity of this figure's color scheme, there's no real reason to track him down.  But, I'm a sucker for $4 Joes.  So, that alone makes him a worthwhile pick up.

Suited Figures: Toht & Cobra Commander (Toht body) - by Past Nastification

An ongoing complaint I’ve had with 1:18 figures is how they never quite land when it comes to dress attire.  The ARAH format was particularly bad due to its many points of articulation, which completely destroy the “flow lines” of a suit.

I’m starting a new subset of occasional reviews I’ll call “Dress Attire!” 

A good starting place for 1:18 scale suit-wearing figures isn’t even within the world of GI Joe.  It’s Toht, from Kenner’s 1982 Raiders of the Lost Ark line.  Wearing a double-breasted suit and a Homburg-style hat, Toht is about as 1930’s/1940’s as one could get.  This is important because the dress attire from that period, almost a century ago, still lines up with men’s suits today.

Granted, the dress attire/suits of yesterday and today aren’t exactly the same.  The double-breasted suit took its last modern breath in the early 90’s, but a handful are still out there.  As for the hat, no one under 90 wears hats with suits anymore.  In fact, only hipsters wear hats -the formal kind that haberdashers would sell- these days, and that’s usually paired with skinny t-shirts and scarves (as pointed out numerous times by Adam Carolla).

But a Toht figure wouldn’t look out of place next to a GI Joe figure, despite the differences in articulation and build.   Kenner succeeded with Toht because there is no waist/hip articulation.  Some of you probably see that as an automatic failure, and if high articulation is your thing, I respect that.  But to my eye, the unbroken line of the suit down to its bottom edge works perfectly.  Some of the suit bottom is sculpted onto the tops of the legs, which works fine for the t-crotch design.  The closest ARAH style suit figure, Headman, really reveals the failure of the format to capture the look of a suit. 

This is a good figure, but for this review I’m seeing it as a figure in a suit, not through the lens of all-things-Indy.  I’m sure Indiana Jones collectors have reviews reflecting that viewpoint.  Just so you know why I’m not talking about how film accurate it is or isn’t.  I also regret that I can’t show you Toht’s amazing draped-around-the-shoulders trenchoat because I lost it.  In 1984 I placed it on a Major Bludd figure, where it looked even more amazing.  When I organized my Joe collection in 1998, I must have separated it from Bludd without putting it back with the few Indy figures I had.   Bummer.     

This is a seven POA figure.  Neck, arms shoulders (no lateral movement/no elbow articulation), legs at hips (t-crotch) and knees.  This is the same recipe Kenner used for MASK’s Miles Mayhem’s military dress uniform, a format that would have looked better on 1:18 Joes in dress uniforms. 

But wait, there’s more!

Hasbro brought back Toht’s look for its Indiana Jones line with modernized articulation.  Although Toht didn’t get to production until several years later*, the Toht body did see use for a convention Cobra Commander in 2008.  The arms and legs have additional articulation.  Lateral shoulder movement, swivel/hinged elbows, swivel wrists, a swiveling waist (hidden within a rubber “skirt” portion of the suit), t-crotch hips, swivel/hinge knees, and swivel/hinge ankles.  All of these are technically improvements over the original figure, but the original 7 POA body is just fine like it is.   It’s worth noting that the modern figure doesn’t have the inside-the-hand burn mark of the original figure.  Hasbro may have substituted different hands for that reason, but I doubt it.* 

The torso on the modern Toht body is disrupted by the waistline articulation.  Other than adding a spot to attach the “skirt” portion, it doesn’t accomplish anything.  Better suit figures have simply made the entire torso part of the suit as its own animal, and that usually looks better.  The sculptor didn’t do his/her research either, and pushed all of the breast buttons below the belt line, which looks unintentionally silly and just a bit vulgar.

Even with far fewer points of articulation, Toht has a simple grace and fluid look that work nicely for a figure in a suit.  The newer format Toht body shows many articulation improvements if that’s your style preference, but offset by a poor torso. 


*yojoe.com states that the left hand (the figure’s right hand) was used from an Indiana Jones figure and that Toht was finally released later, in 2011.   

1987 Worms Around The Web

Most collectors know the Worm figure due to the hard to find antenna and Rocketeer style helmet.  If you get past that, though, the figure is a solid design in a color not often used for Cobra.  Helming a Maggot with a full crew of them is fun and really makes for good photos.  Here's the best I could find of the Worms figure around the web.

Worms Profile

Maggot Profile

Worms And Maggot by Strike Force Code Name

Worms by Scarrviper

Worms by Outrider 01

Worms at JoeBattleLines

Worms by Outrider 02

Worms by guiltridden

Worms by Outrider 03

Worms by Outrider 04

Worms by Fantom

2018 Shadowtracker

Thousands of G.I. Joe figures have been released in either the JvC or anniversary construction format.  A huge number of them, though, were little more than rehashes or homages of vintage figure designs.  In the cases where Hasbro tried something new, more often than not, the design fell flat and produced a dud of a figure.  Every now and then, though, Hasbro hit on a new, original figure concept that both produced a high quality figure and resonated with collectors.  Such was the case with the 2011 release of Shadowtracker.  This new character caught on during Joe doldrums due to his interesting design, high quality gear and the fact that he was kind of hard to find.  In 2018, Red Laser's Army pulled a reversal and offered a vintage Joe styled remake of Shadowtracker as a way to bring the character to those of us who collect only classic Joe models.

Let's face it, Shadowtracker is a Predator knock off and not a really good one at that.  But, simultaneously, he brought an interesting look to the Joe line and provided a needed splash of color to figure designs that tended to be overly reliant on black and green.  The filecard is a mixture of Predator and Gnawgahyde.  So, he's not a very deep character.  But, most of the Cobra villains of the '80's were superficial supplements to the three or four core villains who got all of the depth. So, in that respect, Shadowtracker fits right in.  He's interesting enough to have around.  And, visually, he's diverse enough to bring some color to a Cobra display.  But, he's not a guy who's going to supplant Destro at Cobra Commander's side.

For this Red Laser figure, the most notable difference is that the dreadlocks are lone gone.  There was really no way to incorporate them into a figure like this.  But, the bald look works for this figure, too.  The skull mask design is more greatly accented by the smooth dome. And it is that skull mask that is the figure's calling card.  When I first saw the concept art, I was concerned as to how the actual paint mask of the skull would translate to a figure.  But, did it ever work!  The black face on yellow head makes for a striking visage and allows this figure to pop, even with the missing hair.  The coloring was a bold choice (though backed by the original figure's design) and it paid off with a new villain who looks different than others in his figure style but is still also incredibly cool.

For me, figures like Shadowtracker are a great way to explore early Cobra.  Before Cobra really took off, Cobra Commander would have had to associate with a variety of criminals who could both provide military expertise as well as general menace to keep the troops in line.  These people would have been more unsavory than the Commander would have liked.  But, they would also have been the type of cretins he could afford to employ before Cobra really took off.  Shadowtracker fits into this mold.  He's not a guy who's a great tactician or even a student of military history.  He's a guy who likes to hurt others and isn't afraid to get his hands dirty.  So, the Commander had a use for him for a while.

Like most of these new factory custom figures, though, the character of Shadowtracker was short lived.  Once Cobra began to grow and the Commander could afford the talents of Destro, Firefly, Zartan and Major Bludd, the need for these ancillary hangers-on was lessened.  In a perfect world, contractors like Shadowtracker would have been let go and freed to work for others.  But, Cobra Commander is not so forgiving.  He couldn't risk at large former Cobras being captured by the Joes or other foreign governments and having them spill Cobra secrets to cut a deal with their captors.  But, killing them outright also sent a message to others out in the market that Cobra would be their last employer.  So, the Commander simply sent men like Shadowtracker on increasingly dangerous missions.  Eventually, the occupant stamped bullet would find Shadowtracker and others of his ilk.  This left Cobra in the clear since they didn't murder their superfluous contractors but also cleared out the dead wood so that the new guard could ascend.

Shadowtracker's gear isn't great.  He includes the ammo pack from the 1982 Snake Eyes and Scarlett's crossbow.  I get the idea of the weapons.  But, they don't click with the figure for me.  I've, instead, armed him with silver AK-47s from Black Major, grey Mac-10s from other Red Laser figures or Marauder, Inc. weapons.  Really, anything that's not the gear with which he was included.  Usually, I consider bad weapon choices a detriment to a figure.  But, in this case, the figure quality overcomes the lacking gear and is able to transcend his poor accessory choices.  So much so that even picking up a loose figure with no gear is a solid acquisition since you can find better weapons for Shadowtracker without a lot of effort.

Shadowtracker isn't overly expensive.  He is a bit harder to find than he was during the first six to either months of his release.  You should be able to find one anywhere between $10 and $20 depending upon how long you want to look for a sample.  For my money, this guy was a must buy.  The black and yellow is a color combo that doesn't exist on 1982/1983 Joe parts and the skull face works far better on top of the yellow base color than any of the other figures released in the same wave that use the same paint mask.  He's an excellent update to my pre 1985 villains and supplements a sparse Cobra hierarchy from that time.  I've found most of the Red Laser unique figures to be solid entries into my collection.  Others' mileage may vary.  But, Shadowtracker is usually among the figures around which there is a consensus that the figure is well done and a worthy addition to any collection.

20th Anniversary - Key Moments 1994 Dial Tone

On May 5th of 2000, I posted up a profile of the 1994 Dial Tone figure.  In and of itself, this profile isn't overly significant.  Dial Tone is cool and this version of him is both interesting and unloved.  So, he was a perfect choice for an early profile.  The real reason this profile was significant, though, was my note of the news that Joes would be returning to retail in the fall.  Sure enough, about 5 months later, G.I. Joe was back at retail.  For the next six years, Joe would be a constant retail presence.  And, after taking a "hiatus" for a few months, the line then came back again with heavy releases from 2007 until it petered out in 2016.  So, while we adore the original 12 year run of the G.I. Joe line, it also ran, mostly uninterrupted for 16 years in the 2000's.

The difference, though, was lack of cohesion.  You can look at this 1994 Dial Tone and see the resemblance to a 1982 figure that introduced the world to the G.I. Joe concept.  There are improvements and the figures have some differences.  But, this Dial Tone fits into most early vehicles and is compatible with gear from 12 years prior to his release.  That was simply not the case in the 2000's.  Joe went through many iterations and the last figures that were released had no resemblance at all to the wave of 10 figures that was alluded to in May of 2000.

In looking at the profile of Dialtone, though, I see a much younger me.  At the time, Joe was new, but dead.  Collectors had little to look forward other than scoring cheap collections from guys our same age who were getting kicked out of the parents' house.  The online world of the time had a few hang outs.  But, they were heavily populated by the same people and, the community was small.  Within a few weeks, any active participant of the online discussion would interact with pretty much the entirety of the collecting world.  Within a year, that would drastically change.  2001 would usher in an unprecedented wave of G.I. Joe collectors who would rediscover their childhood passion from the more prevalent retail figures or from the resurgent comic book.

The important step for me was that the site started to grow into a space for commentary about the online Joe world of the time.  Years later, it's interesting to see things written without the benefit of hindsight.  The collectors of the time had grandiose ideas of what Joe's return to retail would mean.  In some ways, none of them came to be.  But, in others, we got everything we could have wanted and more in the 2000's.  It just wasn't all in the same form.

Funskool Flint - Around The Web

The version 1 Flint figure is my favorite design in the entire line.  Funskool offered a unique repaint of the classic Flint in their line.  In early 2002, Funskool re-released their take on the mold and he was available for around $4 for many years.  During this time, I would often pick up an extra Flint when ordering other, newer figures.  And, though the years, I found several variants on him in just that short 2002-2003 release window.  To this day, the Funskool Flint is near the top of figures who get used in photos.  Having nicely painted versions, fully showcasing the gold, is a great way to appreciate Flint without trying to find and being worried about damaging a now $50 original version.  There's a little bit of Funskool Flint content out there where you can see the quality of the figure showcased.  Here's the best of Funskool Flint from around the web.

Funskool Flint Profile

Flint Mold Around The World

Funskool Flint By The Dragon Fortress

Funskool Flint at the Viper Pit

Funskool Flint at JoeDios.com

Funskool Flint by Slipstream80

Funskool Flint by atticagazette

2000/2001 Sidetrack - Around The Web

Back in late 2000, Hasbro dropped the second wave of the A Real American Hero collection.  I'd argue now that it was actually better than the first wave as it included a ton of molds collectors had yet to see and they, mostly, included all their original gear.  I'm hard pressed to really pick which of the 6 figures in the wave is the best.  But, the Ambush repaint renamed as Sidetrack is easily up there.  It's a great mold from the 1990's that was hugely under-appreciated at the time and was colored significantly differently from the original figure.  Here's the best of Sidetrack from around the web.

2001 Sidetrack Profile

Sidetrack by Past Nastifiction

Sidetrack at GeneralsJoes.com

Sidetrack by wigramjoe

Sidetrack at JoeBattleLines.com

Sidetrack by battlearmordad1

Sidetrack at JoeADay.com

1997 Short Fuse

Some characters just get short changed.  Short Fuse is one such Joe character for me.  In 20 years, I've looked at one Short Fuse figure from the 2005 Comic Book Pack.  I like the character so much that I not only misspelled the title of that character in that profile, but I also misspelled it 22 additional times in the body of the profile.  It's not that I hate Short Fuse.  It's just that the character and his various figures over the years really haven't resonated with me.  While a mortar was a useful idea in childhood play, the practicality was limited since it was tough to use the weapon in close quarters that dueling action figures require. So, Short Fuse never much mattered to me.  And, while this 1997 repaint is a solid upgrade from the original, it's also somewhat uninspired and hasn't helped the character catch on with me.

As a figure, Short Fuse suffers from his introduction to my collection.  The original Short Fuse was owned by my youngest brother.  As he was four at the time, any figure that was given to him was quickly destroyed.  Somehow, he received both Short Fuse and Zap in early 1983.  And, with both figures, their thumbs were destroyed even before the figures really entered in our play rotation.  So, Short Fuse was really never part of those early Joe memories.  At some point, the same brother got a swivel arm version of Short Fuse.  This figure was better cared for...I pulled him aside to save him.  But, by the time he was introduced, 1984 figures were on the shelves and Short Fuse seemed dated and relatively useless.  As he wasn't much of a player in the comic, Short Fuse never really mattered much to me.

So, upon finding the Stars and Stripes set at a Toys R Us in Scottsdale, Arizona in December of 1997, I still paid Short Fuse little attention.  I was enamored with Stalker and appreciated the Snake Eyes figure.  In time, Scarlett and even Zap would find some use in my collection.  Short Fuse, though, remained forgotten.  Even though the new red hair gave Short Fuse some characterization that separated him from the other blonde uses of his 1982 sculpted head, I didn't have much use for him.  I found one photo shoot from the fall of 2001 where he appeared.  But, that was about it.  (It's the photo below with Short Fuse on the Swampmasher.)  The figure just didn't catch my eye and he remained packed away until it was time for photos for this profile.

All of which, though, isn't to say that this is a bad figure.  Aside from the red hair change, this Short Fuse is pretty much the same as the original release.  His upper body coloring is close to that of the 1983 Zap figure...further tying these two together.  But, the lower body is a lighter green with a slight cammo pattern that gives this Short Fuse far more depth than the original 1982 figure.  He has both black and brown accents.  This breaks up some of the cohesion of the figure.  But also allows for more colors in the palette.  In short, this is a better Short Fuse than the original.  But, he's still kind of boring and not visually interesting enough to overcome his lack of characterization or difficult to use specialty.

I've long felt that Downtown was meant to be a Short Fuse update.  In 2004, Hasbro agreed and brought around the first appearance of Short Fuse since 1997.  This repainted Downtown that was released in the 2004 Night Force set was a good way to breathe some life into the Short Fuse character.  Alas, while that figure is excellently painted, his gear is atrocious and that lessens the value of him quite a bit.  So much so that not even that solid take on the character was enough to get him to crack into even some of the lesser used figures in my collection.

Short Fuse's gear is fairly well done with a few caveats.  First off, he includes a retake on his original mortar and stand.  The mortar is the thick 1/2 handled body and the stand still works perfectly.  He has his classic pack in a green color that matches the figure's body.  The rockets are painted black, though, to give it much greater depth.  He includes the clearer 1997 visor and a green take on the classic helmet.  Alas, the 1997 helmets are crap and don't really fit onto any of the figures in the set.  So, Short Fuse is doomed to an eternity of awkwardness.  The one fun update to Short Fuse, though, is that he also includes a green bazooka from the the original Zap.  The practicality of carrying both a mortar and bazooka into battle is nil.  But, from a toy perspective, the inclusion of this extra weapon brought a great deal of playability to Short Fuse that his original release was missing.

Short Fuse traveled a bit.  After the figure's Hasbro release, the swivel arm mold went to India.  (The straight arm mold was released in South America.)  There, Short Fuse was released in a few major color variants as well as several minor green shading differences.  Some, like the blue Short Fuse, command high prices.  Others will sell for less.  But, Hasbro got Short Fuse back for the Stars and Stripes set in 1997 and the figure was never released again with the full body or complement of vintage gear.  Hasbro could have gotten more mileage out of this mold (and the other Stars and Stripes figures) with a few creative repaints.  I'd have bought any original 13 member in desert, Night Force or even Tiger Force paint schemes.  But, we're just left with this 1997 version as an update to the original figure.

1997 Short Fuse figures aren't terribly hard to find.  Many dealers carry them in the $15 range...selling quite a few.  Left to the open market, it's about an $8-$10 figure.  That's not too bad for something that's more than 20 years old, is colored nicely and includes a ton of classic gear.  For the price difference between this figure and a 1983 version, the 1997 is definitely the way to go.  I've found time to be kind to the 1997 series of figures.  It wasn't well liked upon its release.  But, when considered against all that came after it, the 1997 figures have held up far better than many of their post vintage contemporaries.  For me, this figure is still Short Fuse and I don't have much use for the character.  But, this 1997 version gives me an appearance that's more interesting than the 1983 and is also far less brittle.  That's not much value that he brings.  But, it's enough to justify owning one, for sure.

20th Anniversary - Key Moments 1990 Decimator

As part of my 20th Anniversary, I'm going to look at 12 key figures from the site's history.  Most are just important to me or they commemorate something that was occurring in the Joe world at that time.  The obvious place to start this discussion is with the very first figure that ever appeared here: the 1990 Decimator.

Now, the Decimator is a well known Cobra army builder who is somewhat frustrating to find and also rather expensive.  In 1999, though, he was a super obscure figure that most collectors didn't own.  Those who did really didn't pay any attention to him.  And, because of this, there was some confusion about the figure that erupted in the final months of the year.  At the time, the photo of the Decimator on YoJoe.com was of a fairly low quality.  In the photo, it appeared that Decimator had black pants.  Since no one really cared about the Decimator, though, it wasn't an issue.  Then, though, a Canadian collector noticed this when he went to identify figures in a lot he had acquired.  He noticed his Decimator's pants were a dark green.  And, rumors quickly went about that there might be a variant.  As few people had the figure, the fire was not quickly quelled.

I posted up a photo of my figure to better showcase the green pants.  Being 1999, my only option to get a photo of the figure was to lay him on top of a scanner and scan him in.  You can see the antiquated grey background of a scanner photo below.  So, I scanned the figure in and went to post it on some webspace I had lying around.  Around that time, Evilface's site ran a feature called Figure of the Week.  He posted a photo of a random figure and wrote a line or two about how the figure was "kewl".  I wanted something that gave more details on a figure and had more content to consume.  So, in addition to posting the photo of the Decimator, I also did a little write up.  And, with that, my first profile was born.

As I felt that having just one article up was too sparse, I also wrote up a profile of my unproduced 1995 Battle Corps Rangers Flint figure and posted it at the same time.  This was a hubris-filled move to brag about the figure.  But, I also wanted information about this figure out in the community.  At the time, most really rare Joe items were hoarded away and kept hidden from the collecting community.  (This sensibility still pervades the Joe collecting world and shows our utter lack of maturity.)  So, I wanted my rare figure to be out there for all to see.  Even today, I still get nasty messages from collectors who are genuinely pissed off that I posted something rare for the world to see.  They want this information only available to a select few. I don't get it.

From there, I kept on scanning and writing.  At the time, I was busy at a start up company and needed a way to release stress.  Writing a quick update on some Joe figure was a good way to blow off steam and have a creative outlet.  In short order, I had a full fledged website full of photos and figure write ups.  As 1999 turned to 2000, a few other fan run sites also started up.  By 2001, the Joe world was a vibrant community of content creators who churned out new stuff for the community to enjoy at a constant rate.  This was easily the most innocent time in the Joe collecting timeline.  Most guys were just starting out and the competition for desirable items didn't really show up until the army building crazy really took hold in 2001.

In looking back at my Decimator write up, I find that my use for the figure from back then is long gone.  Now, I see him as just another cool looking Cobra figure that I really don't get out and use often enough.  Maybe that will change in 2020.  In some ways, I hope it does.  Seeing the old photos brings back memories of a earlier time in my life where the future was so distant.  It's good to remind myself of those days as it helps put the hustle and bustle of my current life into perspective.  Much of what I dreamed of back then has come true.  Some things I never imagined have happened.  And, of course, there have been disappointments.  It's useful to look at the road traveled, though, to help guide you on the journey ahead.

Tracked Assault Vehicle by Past Nastification

If you’re still shaking your head about the extra stupid Tread Ripper in 2013’s GI Joe Retaliation, this vehicle will either make your head shake more furiously, or stop shaking it all together.

If it frustrates you that Midwood Brands LLC can make something similar to -but better than- Hasbro’s Tread Ripper, then shake that head a little faster.  But if it makes you happy to see a basically unheard of company outperform Hasbro, then stop shaking that head, because the Tracked Assault Vehicle (TAV) is a good cheap toy.

Does Midwood Brands LLC design the products it sells, or just import them from China?  I have no idea, but I’ll be generous and approach this review as if they design the toys. 

Midwood Brands LLC is a toy supplier for Family Dollar, and is the maker of the “Imitation Vamp” and “Heroes Playset Fortress” from the last few years.  Technically, there isn’t even a name for the TAV, as it’s simply included in a “Military Vehicle Set 2pk”.  The other vehicle, if you’re curious, is a narrow-framed dune buggy (also technically unnamed).  I’ve referred to Family Dollar’s 1:18 vehicles as “GI Joe knock-offs” before in my reviews a joeaday.com.  But now that Hasbro doesn’t even have GI Joe product on store shelves, it’s more like Midwood Brands LLC is a juvenile trying to hold down the fort while Hasbro is out binge drinking.  That’s bad parenting, Hasbro. 

The TAV takes the Tread Ripper’s concept of having a driver cradled between two treads, but does it right.  The Tread Ripper has a more-or-less exposed driver’s seat in a strange position with a roll cage.   The TAV has the driver’s seat more centrally located and protected by a closing armored canopy (there isn’t any clear plastic to represent ballistic glass, but I’m willing to see it as an “imagination choice”).  Whereas the Tread Ripper driver could have a grenade easily lobbed at his/her feet, the driver of the TAV is as snug as a bug in a rug.

The overall bodylines are angular and triangular, with crisp detail.  There’s even a slight texture on the body, which is intentionally missing from some of the panels.  It’s a great attention to detail.  The TAV looks like something that a SWAT team would use to get into a fortified position inside of a city or other close-quarters environments.  Its design is compact but durable.  The front of the vehicle features an angled breaching blade, like an upside-down cattle plow from a train.  There is a very well detailed rotating/elevating machine gun mounted behind the canopy.  The strangest design element is an oversized paddle wheel along the centerline of the rear of the vehicle.  What would it do that two treads already couldn’t?  I have no idea, but I’m not opposed to its inclusion in the design- it rolls on the ground with the “hidden” wheels under the treads.  The TAV looks like a larger version of the real world Badger, which itself appears to have drawn on the look of the ’83 HISS tank.  Art imitates life imitates art?

Given the discount toy nature of the TAV, the plastic of the body is beefier than you might expect it to be.  The “technical details” on the paper stickers are nonsensical and there’s not much detail inside of the canopy.  The treads, of course, don’t actually move, but have the above-mentioned rolling wheels on the bottom.  This vehicle could very easily have been a one-piece shell, like Hasbro’s Cobra RAT, but it’s made of multiple pieces interlocked and screwed together.  Much better construction than I would have expected.  Full shame-filled disclosure:  I like the RAT.

The tan and black color scheme is a good starting point.  I could see customizers decking it out in Cobra blue/black or Joe olive drab, and maybe adding some “glass” to the canopy.

The TAV is probably a $3.00 vehicle, as the entire set sells for $8.00 (which includes the TAV, the narrow-framed dune buggy, a throw-it-in-the-trash action figure, and several oversized weapons).  At its price point, the TAV easily outshines Hasbro’s Tread Ripper.

The Tread Ripper looks like something a seven year old designed and a Hasbro executive somehow approved.  I’m aware that given the Tread Ripper’s movie origin, it may have been thought up in Hollywood instead of Rhode Island, but it’s still a ridiculous design.  The TAV, even with its paddle wheel, looks like a toy version of a plausible specialized real world vehicle.  Unlike the Tread Ripper, it’s also fun.

1990 Bullhorn - Around The Web

Bullhorn is one of those Joes that doesn't get a lot of press.  But, when he's brought up, everyone loves him.  From the solid colors to the amazing gear, the Bullhorn figure has something for pretty much every Joe fan.  There's some good content on him out there.  Here's the best of Bullhorn from around the web.

1990 Bullhorn Profile

Bullhorn by Scarrviper

Bullhorn at JoeBattleLines.com

European Exclusive Missile Firing Bullhorn

Bullhorn by Falcon Chile

Bullhorn Commercial by 3DJoes.com

Bullhorn Diorama

Bullhorn by 7inch_gang

Bullhorn at CobraIsland.com

Bullhorn by Nekoman

Bullhorn at JoeADay.com

Bullhorn Video Review by Formbx257

1993 Ninja Force Snake Eyes

The 1993 Ninja Force Snake Eyes figure is one of those releases that has so much potential masked by the sculpt's limitations that it is frustrating to own one.  You see the figure lying there, look at the head, and think about how great that it looks.  Then, you get this splash of aqua blue color that's tough to reconcile.  But, if you can get past all that, you are stuck with non-standard Ninja Force articulation that spoils any hope this Snake Eyes ever had of being a valued part of a G.I. Joe collection.  Were this figure released with grey highlights instead of blue and done up in classic Joe style, you'd have one of the more sought after figures from 1993.  But, he wasn't and the result is a figure that's kind of fun but also severely limited. 

The more I look at the Ninja Force Snake Eyes, though, the more I convince myself that there is a gem hidden somewhere in this figure's design.  The easiest place to start is the head.  Really, the head is perfect.  It's a blank, more mysterious look for Snake Eyes and is different enough from his other vintage appearances to stand apart.  I like this better than I do the visor or goggles.  There are some nice Snake Eyes customs out there that use the Ninja Force head.  (And, a really cool Ninja Force Snake Eyes that used a Black Panther head from a Marvel figure.)  The look and actual release of the head as is has value since it's just the standard black with the powerful white eyes.  The head gives Snake Eyes a sense of aloof danger that was always alluded to with the character.  The comic book renderings of Snake Eyes from this time show that the design could have worked had the figure been approached differently.

The rest of the body, though, is dripping with potential.  The body is covered in straps and pockets.  They, though, hearken back to Snake Eyes' commando roots.  He has grenades and a pistol as part of the sculpted accouterments.  With better coloring and standard articulation, this figure has the potential to excellently bridge the gap between the warring factions of Snake Eyes' specialties.  That's a tough line to thread and the fact that a figure in a ninja specific subset is still able to bring a sense of Snake Eyes' original duties to the table is quite an accomplishment.  Again, the comic used a design loosely based on this Snake Eyes appearance in both capacities.  The ninja aspect was more played up, as it made for more sensational story telling.  But, Snake Eyes' military training was still evident and this figure design married to the two for consistency.

To accommodate the Ninja Force action features, the Snake Eyes torso is big and bulky.  This is most prominent on the figure's shoulders.  They are set high above the arms and make it appear that Snake Eyes is either very deformed or wearing some type of armor.  This little design flaw has a visual impact on the figure and further limits his value. The odd legs create a blocky lower body that looks more like a vintage Star Wars figure than something 15 years more advanced.  All of this was to accommodate the inner workings of the spring loaded action features.  Sure, this Snake Eyes can chop his arm down: but he looks terrible.  However, by 1993, action features like these were a bigger selling point than 10 years of consistent figure design. 

Snake Eyes includes a bunch of blue ninja weapons that match the highlights on the figure.  Affixed to standard weapon tree, these blades are cool and fit well with the figure's aesthetic.  All of the 1993 swords are large, bulky and useful for dueling between figures.  One of my laments of the 1980's edged weapons was that they were small for the figures and difficult to play with.  The Ninja Force sculpts solve this issue with a total lack of subtlety.  If you needed spare swords to play with, this Snake Eyes solved the issue by including 3 of them, a knife, two claws and nunchuks.  With Snake Eyes removed from his package, every 1993 era kid had all the swords he needed to stage a nice battle.

This Snake Eyes body was used in 1993 and the re-released as part of the Shadow Ninjas subset in 1994.  The mold then died and was never seen again.  The 1993 figure, though, was released in a few different international packaging variants: though the figure is the same.  Snake Eyes didn't appear in the Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat Movie lines: where many Ninja Force molds went to squeeze a few more pennies out of the parts.  A really enterprising Hasbro in the 2000's might have found use for the figure's head.  But, that would have taken a bit too much effort.  The 1993 head on the 1989 body might have made for a fun update to a mold that got quickly tired by 2002.  But, leaving just this figure and the color changing 1994 version is more than enough for any collector. 

Ninja Force Snake Eyes are cheap.  Way too many carded figures sell in the $40 range when sold by dealers.  But, the market price seems to be about $20 for a MOC version of this figure.  Loose, mint and complete samples run about $10.  Just a couple of years ago, you could get a carded version for that price.  And, you don't see the Ninja Force figures with the regularity that you did half a decade ago, either.  All of which is to say that, if you want one, they're still pretty affordable, but they're also drying up.  Personally, I find this figure a lot of fun and a great look for Snake Eyes...even if the construction and colors leave something to be desired.

1985 Mauler M.B.T.

The Mauler, simply put, is the most popular Joe tank ever produced.  It's sleek design, realistic color and desirable release year all add up to one of the greatest Joe land vehicles ever produced.  The Mauler is a collector favorite and has been among the most requested re-release items of the various Joe resurgences.  For me, the Mauler is a childhood favorite.  It was my main Joe armored vehicle for the bulk of my long ago adventures.  And, it managed to survive fairly intact through that period of my life and into adulthood.  Despite all of this, I do feel that the toy has some limitations and, in some ways, the Mauler's reputation far exceeds it's actual play value.  But, even today, I find the Mauler a staple of my photos due to the cool design, excellent color and general popularity of the vehicle.

My introduction to the Mauler came in the 1985 Joe vehicle pack in catalog.  The tank looked great and was a huge upgrade over the disappointing MOBAT.  I then have no real memory of finding the Mauler or seeing it at retail until the fall of 1985.  It's possible I just don't recall seeing something that I couldn't buy at the time.  Or, it's possible that some vehicles didn't ship until later in the year.  (I have distinct memories of vehicles appearing after figures.  But, it could just be that they either sold out more quickly than figures or retailers didn't order them until it was closer to the holidays.)  But, somehow I knew that the Mauler was out at retail in the fall.  I finally found a Mauler at a local Service Merchandise store.  The notion of Service Merchandise seems quaint now.  But, at the time, it was a powerful retail presence.  I went to the local store, filled out the form and waited for my Mauler to come down the conveyor belt so I could pay and take it home.

Once in my hands, I experienced my first pang of disappointment.  The Mauler box didn't have the glossy photo of the toy on the back.  This was par for the course with Hasbro's larger toys.  But, I had some expectation that the Mauler would be small enough to have the full photo.  I opened the toy in the front seat of my mom's car.  As soon as the box was open, the box photo was forgotten and I was enthralled by the tank I found inside.  I put it together in the car on the drive home.  I opened the bagged Heavy Metal figure, lost his mic instantly, and then found it again on the carpet of the car.  By the time we got home, the Mauler was assembled and ready for action.

The Mauler remains my definitive Joe heavy armor.  While the design and toy have limitations, it remains the best tank Hasbro made for the vintage Joes.  The look is sleek while the weapons are useful and powerful.  All of the constraints of the MOBAT are gone and collectors are left with a toy that resonates 35 years after its release.  The tan color was something that I thought would be somewhat off putting at first.  But, the color was different from the military drab green that constituted the majority of Joe vehicles release up until that point and it brought a bit of diversity to the ranks of the Joe armor without being too far off from the "realistic" standard that the line tended to adhere to at the time.  It also ended up making the Mauler even more distinctive and, seemingly more important with the unique color.

The Mauler's main feature is its sleekness.  The tank isn't very tall.  Or, at least it seems that way due to the lower profile of both the body and the turret.  It isn't the blocky mess that was the MOBAT.  And, due to that, it's much more aesthetically pleasing.  The base, though, is just a rectangle with the turret placed on top.  But, Hasbro did so much with that rectangle that you lose sight of the simplicity of the design.  The turret and base fit together seamlessly.  The removable side panels that shield the treads help disguise the inner workings of the toy and add needed depth the tank.  But, they are so well disguised that they don't detract from the look of the Mauler, either.

The Mauler's accessories and parts are what make the tank.  At its core, the tank includes few pieces.  But, each is so well thought out that the entire ensemble suffers for a single missing piece.  The turret is adorned with smoke grenade launchers on each side.  As a kid, these provided extra attacking weapons for the tank.  But, they were more of a last resort type weapon than anything that could be used proactively.  There are two antennae on the back of the turret.  While seemingly superfluous, they both raise the profile of the Mauler but also give it the air of realism that was the hallmark of early Hasbro vehicle designs.  The main cannon raises nearly a full 90 degrees: making it much more realistic and useful than the MOBAT.  And, two figures can sit atop the Mauler's turret, allowing for a full crew of 4 figures.  Alas, the molded seats and pegs aren't the most graceful perches for 1985 figures and the idea of their usefulness was far greater than their practical usage.

The lower half of the tank looks like there are few parts.  Aside from the mudflaps: which form an integral part of the tank's look while also not really serving any play purpose, there is the tow rope.  The tow rope is one of the more valuable parts of the tank as it is often broken or missing.  As a kid, I found the look of the rope on the Mauler to be necessary.  But, the practicality of the actual toy was proven futile with the same item from the Wolverine from two years prior.  The Wolverine's rope snapped when I tried to use it in any capacity.  So, I was more cautious with the same accessory on the Mauler.  The multitude of broken and missing ropes now, though, prove I was the rare child who did that.  The rest of the pieces on the main body of the tank are the aforementioned side panels,  removable engine covers, two removable storage panels and the cockpit doors.  That's it.  (To this day, I check inside the storage panels of every Mauler I find since all the kids I knew hid Heavy Metal's mic in there and you never know what you'll find.  In the early 2000's, when Heavy Metal's mic first skyrocketed, a dealer bought up tons of Mauler shells in search of mics lost inside the tank.  He found a couple.  But, after 15 additional years, that's probably much more difficult these days.

As a kid, the Mauler dominated the less powerful Cobra armor.  One of the patterns that later developed in my adventures was that Cobra vehicles had to be fast since they couldn't overpower a Mauler.  So, speed driven quick attacks became the hallmark of the Cobra mechanized infantry.  (The STUN really cemented this home.)  The Joes had the more powerful weapons and armor.  But, the Cobra vehicles were so fast that they were tough to hit.  Maulers might take out a few HISS Tanks.  But, enough would get through, drop off off their pair of infantrymen, and escape that Cobra remained a threat in the face of superior firepower.  Despite this, the Mauler endured many battles with Hiss Tanks, STUNs and Thunder Machines...usually winning out.

My last real memory of the Mauler occurred in the mid 1990's.  My childhood Mauler had survived relatively intact.  One night over winter break, an old friend came over.  We started digging through old toy boxes in my basement and found all the old G.I. Joe vehicles.  We pulled them out, set them up and used the missile launchers from my adult collecting time frame 1990's figures to have a mini battle: just like old times.  It was one of those times when you could forget that you were supposed to be too old to have fun and we were able to capture a fleeting feeling of being a kid again for just a few minutes.  After that night, I rescued my old Joe vehicles from the basement and started taking better care of them.  Most have since been replaced.  But, that night proved to me the value of collecting something and retaining that link to a simpler time.

The Mauler was also a popular export around the world.  After the American release, the tank showed up in both Mexico and Brazil.  The color is a bit lighter than the American tank.  But, the general idea is the same.  These releases had the motor removed.  The altered body mold was then used for a Slaughter's Marauders Equalizer in 1989.  The real story begins after the Joe line's vintage run ended.  In 1997, the Mauler was planned to be the 15th Anniversary line's flagship release.  It was going to be colored in military green.  But, Hasbro could not find the mold.  So, instead, they repainted the Cobra Rattler into the planned color and released it as the A-10 Thunderbolt.  In 2007, the club attempted another Mauler release.  There were going to be two tanks: one Joe and one Cobra.  However, there was an issue and the tanks weren't ready in time for the convention.  So, just the drivers were sold.  A few months later, it was announced that the Mauler mold was damaged and could not be re-cast.  So, the tanks were cancelled.  Despite fan demand, Hasbro never remolded the vehicle during the anniversary era...despite them updating several other, less popular vehicles.  Part of the Mauler's mystique is tied to it's vintage only release and the fact that every attempt to return it collectordom has spectacularly failed.

With popularity comes expense.  And, the Mauler is pricey.  A mint and complete with all parts and unbroken tow rope tank will run anywhere between $110 and $125.  Even a tank with just the launchers and mud flaps will top $80.  Individually, the tow rope will sell for $40 and the smaller antenna will fetch similarly high prices.  Even shells that are missing all the attachments will sell for $30 plus shipping.  So, there's really no deals to be had unless you can find an uninformed seller or acquire one as part of a larger lot.  I'm not sure if I'd pay anywhere near that for a Mauler if I didn't have one.  It's a fun toy that holds a lot of nostalgic value for me.  But, it's also something that has limitations as a toy.  So, the high price tag would be tough to justify.  I'm just glad I don't have to make the choice.