The Rankings - 1984

1984 is an interesting Joe year.  It's considered a classic with some of the best figures ever released.  But, the 1984 lineup is very transitional.  About half the figures are in line with 1983 releases while the other half take a leap forward and give us the precursors of what the line would become in 1985.  It's going to be a tough year to rank as it contains some of my personal favorites, consensus icons and, one of the worst releases Hasbro ever created.  So, we'll jump in 1984 and see where this ends up.

#20. Deep Six

Yeah, it couldn't be anyone else.  This Deep Six sucks.  But, to be fair, he features an original head (which was intended to be the Alpine Trooper head that was going to be used with the Scrap Iron body) and an ambitious action feature.  I'm not going to convince myself that Deep Six is a good figure or toy.  But, he has all the hallmarks of a G.I. Joe figure and had the same care put into his design as did Stormshadow.  He loses due to articulation.  But, there are elements of quality to him that keep him above some figures from later years.

#19. Clutch and Stinger Driver (tie)

It's unfair to really include these guys in the 1984 lineup since they were both repaints of earlier figures.  But, in the case of each figure, the repaint was amazing.  Both are substantially different from their original releases while still maintaining the overall quality of the earlier design.  You can argue that both the 1984 repaints are even better than the original paint jobs.  They appear this low, though, because they were earlier sculpts and the other 1984 figures also brought new colors to the line.  It's not fair they are so low.  But, that's a testament to the quality of the overall year.

#17. Duke

At his core, Duke is a 1983 figure design.  He uses the classic helmet, reuses gear from prior figures and even recycles parts from earlier releases.  Design wise, he fits with the 1983 Team.  Because of that, his overall rank suffers for 1984.  His release year contemporaries brought more to the table.  Duke seemed like a pure throwback instead of something new.  His colors are nice.  But, they were more muted when compared against the other 1984's.  Then, he's got the goofy head.  In reality, Duke works as a figure.  He's just not one of the stronger releases in his year.

#16. Hooded Cobra Commander

An iconic look ranked this low?  Well, yeah.  Cobra Commander suffers from a lot of what ails Duke, Clutch and the Stinger driver.  The new head and the darker blue color make for a fantastic figure.  He just didn't offer anything new or revolutionary to the 1984 lineup.  The low ranking is more a function of him being mostly a repaint instead of an all new figure. 

#15. Roadblock

Roadblock is another 1983 throwback.  His body is a little beefier.  And, the reused parts do limit him.  His accessories push him up the list.  The machine gun, tri-pod and backpack all work in concert to produce a great toy.  His colors are nice.  If taken against the line as a whole, Roadblock would perform well.  He just can't outperform his fellow class of 1984.

#14. Copperhead

I'm not really sure if Copperhead should be this high.  He gets solid marks for bringing so much color to the Joe line.  And, he features a bulkier sculpt to showcase his size, too.  The fact that the figure persevered and remains somewhat popular despite him not getting any characterization is a testament to this figure's overall design.  So, he gets ahead of Roadblock even though Roadblock is a lot more useful.

#13. Scrap Iron

Scrap Iron started his life as a Joe Alpine Trooper.  At some point, he was converted to Scrap Iron.  The colors are great.  But, the head is weak.  It really doesn't fit with the rest of the figure.  It being designed later in the process explains the difference.  He gets some higher marks, though, for his gear.  The missile table was inspired and gave Scrap Iron value over just his figure.

#12.Wild Weasel

I don't like the Wild Weasel figure.  The reason for that is that I saw the artistic rendition of him in the comics in the summer of 1984.  So, I had months of waiting for him and anticipating him before we got him in October of that year.  And, the figure just didn't live up.  I thought the helmet was too big and there was too much red.  But, in the 42 years since his release, he's grown on me.  And, the design as a pilot is pretty strong.  

#11.Cutter

So, this one photo from 2008 is the only time I can ever find that I used the 1984 Cutter.  Back in 2013, one of my sons crawled into a storage room and opened up a drawer of 1984 Joes and managed to break my Cutter's crotch.  So, I haven't had one to really use in more than a decade and a half.  Despite that, the original design is pretty good.  The life vest gave him added bulk without making him too big.  The sculpted baseball cap also worked really well and brought a new look to the Joe line.  His colors are strong and different.  So, he's right in the middle of the year's lineup.

#10. Firefly

The first controversy in the list.  How could Firefly, one  of the line's iconic figures, only be the 10th best figure from his release year?!?  The answer lies is two parts.  First, Firefly is another 1983 style figure.  His head is the perfect size for the classic helmets.  Secondly, though, is that Firefly doesn't get any paint details that accentuate the amazing sculpting that Hasbro did for his body.  While Firefly is still visually interesting, he also lacks something because his grenades, pouches and pistol all blend into a seamless see of two toned grey.  Firefly's cool as hell.  But, his overall design didn't do much to move the Joe line forwards.  

#09.  Ripcord

As a figure, Ripcord is kind of bland.  But, his cammo is more dramatic than Firefly's.  The rest of the figure doesn't have much going for it.  What it does have, though, is some of the best gear ever released.  No parachute rig that came after was able to live up to the innovation of Ripcord's parachute pack and airmask.  With his gear attached, he's an amazing figure.  I had mine wear his mask even on ground missions because it just looked so cool.  

#08. Thunder

Apparently, I'm a Thunder fan.  While he's very much a 1983 throwback, he works on many different levels.  He included new helmet gear that elevated the standard helmet.  The rest of him, though, is well sculpted.  I've always loved his chest sculpt.  They layers of brown, green and black work as a visual treat.  So, I find Thunder a better piece of design than some of the more iconic figures from this year.

#07. Recondo

Recondo isn't perfect.  But, he is a great looking jungle trooper.  His muted base color allows his painted details to stand out.  The green hat is a perfect topper, too.  Recondo features a strong face sculpt to boot.  He only includes two accessories.  His backpack is one of the better pieces from the line's early years.  It's big enough to showcase all the details while not being overbearing like many of the packs from 1987 and beyond.  His rifle can be tough to pose.  But, it does look really good with Recondo...to the point where Recondo looks weird with any other weapon.  Recondo showed what Hasbro could do now that they had a couple of years under their belt.

#06.  Spirit

Like Recondo, Spirit showed what the Joe line could be.  His stern face is an understated element of the figure that helps define his character.  The molded hair piece, though, was a leap forward in design.  It opened the doors to more variety for heads.  We wouldn't see it that often.  But, Spirit allowed the 1984 lineup to look quite different from the previous years.  On top of that, he included another new addition to 1984: an animal companion.  Freedom wasn't a terribly useful accessory.  But, he was an element that set the Joe line apart.  The rest of Spirit's gear really only works  for Spirit.  That's a double edged sword, for sure.  But, shows that accessory integration is essential for any successful action  figure line.

#05.Stormshadow

The top 5 is where it starts to get dicey.  It's very possible that, if I were to revisit these rankings in 2028, that Stormshadow might end up #2 on the list.  For now, though, he rests at number 5.  Really, though, that's only because those above him are so good.  As a figure, Stormshadow isn't all that groundbreaking.  Sure, he introduced the ninjas mythos to Joe.  But, his sculpt is somewhat basic and hearkens back to 1983.  He excels, though, in the accessory department.  His backpack is a masterclass of engineering.  It was, likely, the most intricate accessory that existed in the 3 3/4" scale at the time.  The complete package remains iconic.  

#04.Blowtorch

Blowtorch gets high marks for his striking colors and his amazing gear.  I've always kind of lumped Ripcord and Blowtorch together because they both had air masks.  But, it is Blowtorch's design, where his mask is integrated into the figure itself, that is more memorable to me.  It's a stronger feat of engineering and something that Hasbro hadn't fully worked out when they were taking promo photos of the 1984 figures.  In addition, Blowtorch proved that bright, vivid colors could work perfectly in the proper setting.  You can see the fiery yellow and red and instantly know Blowtorch's specialty.  On top of everything else, his flamethrower and backpack integrated, too.  His suit is full of small details.  He's just a figure that defines his year while expanding the look of Joe into new areas.

#03.Mutt

Mutt is overly high.  He's among my favorite figures and is a guy to whom I hold great deference.  But, as an action figure,  he's amazing.  Mutt showed that brighter, more powerful greens could still work on a G.I. Joe.  And, his accent colors give him visual depth.  He also brought the first, real animal character to the line.  Junkyard became a fan favorite.  And, there are still collectors who prefer the dog to the man.  The rest of Mutt's gear is also great.  He might have the best pistol Hasbro ever created.  And, his muzzle/helmet combo gave him a talking point.  Without the muzzle, Mutt features a riveting head sculpt...including unexplained scars: a rarity for a good guy.  Mutt is just a complete package of a figure and is one who's always going to rank high with me.

#02. Baroness

I'm surprised I ended up with Baroness this high.  But, she is light years ahead of Scarlett and, certainly, Cover Girl in terms of female sculpting.  Her separate hair piece was inspired and gave an excellent approximation of longer hair.  The eyeglasses were perfectly proportioned and gave her a distinct look.

The only bad thing about the Baroness is that Hasbro then went backwards in female figure design after her release.  Lady Jaye is a step down.  Zarana does an OK job of replicating the Baroness design aesthetic.  But, the bad face sculpts keep her lower than the Baroness.  Jinx didn't have a face at all.  And, then we didn't see another female figure until the 1993 Scarlett.

The Baroness seems passe, now.  We got tons of repaints of her in the 2000's and even factory customs.  But, she remains Hasbro's best work for a female figure.  Her only detriment is her terrible rifle.  But, that's inconsequential when the rest of the figure design is so well done.  For her, the lack of color works as the all black ensemble conveys her affiliation and allows to match up with any of Cobra hierarchy where she may choose to lay her allegiance.

#01. Zartan

This should not be a surprise.  Zartan brings so much to the Joe line that he has to hold the top spot on this list.  The color changing gimmick is the least interesting thing about Zartan.  But, it's a big part of my kids loved him.  The character is just, generally, bizarre.  And, with little explanation as to why, kid's imaginations could run wild.  The oddball chest armor that held a heat sensing sticker added to the mystique.  And, his hood was an extension of the hair pieces used for Spirit and Baroness.  

To top it off, Zartan included great accessories.  His backpack held an alternate face.  Today, action figures include alternate heads for collectors.  But, in 1984, we got to play with a bearded weirdo who was disguising the most visually distinctive villain in the G.I. Joe line.  If that wasn't enough, his pistol rivals Mutt's for the top spot in terms of Hasbro's efforts.  

Zartan showed what the Joe line could be and firmly cemented it as military fantasy.  The illusion of the line being about green army guys was forever shattered and there was a full decade of future releases that were a function of that early decision.  

All in all, the 1984 line has a strong case for the best year of Joe releases.  There's just so much here and it's all packed into just 20 figures.  I'm sure everyone's list differs just based on your personal experiences.  But, I'd love to hear about your top figures from this year and why they are important to you.

1984 Chameleon - Around The Web

The Chameleon is both a toy that is essential to Zartan and one that is completely inconsequential to your enjoyment of the Zartan figure.  It's something that's great to have and really completes Zartan as a toy.  But, Zartan is also so good that he can be an iconic collection piece, even if you don't have the swamp skier.  It's a weird juxtaposition.  

The upside is that there's lots of content on the Chameleon and Zartan out there.  Many people use them effectively and make some fun stuff.  

1984 Chameleon Profile

1984 Chameleon by backyardjoes

1984 Chameleon by cobra_rules_cybertron

1984 Chameleon by Prince Adam

1984 Chameleon by keithmccleary

1984 Chameleon by gijoe_nation

1984 Chameleon by cobra_rules_cybertron

1984 Chameleon by yotothejoe

1984 Chameleon by keithmccleary

1984 Chameleon by codename.steve

1984 Chameleon by cobra_rules_cybertron

1984 Chameleon by gijoe_for_fun

1984 Chameleon by viper_space

1984 Chameleon by codename.steve

2005 Comic Pack Zartan - Around the Web

Zartan took Cobra to new heights of super-villainy.  He was just a bizarre character who bordered on super natural.  But,  he worked quite well.  And, to this day, he remains one of the most popular Cobra characters and figures.  In 2005, he got a Comic Pack release that was OK but not a substantial upgrade over the original.  At the time, it was a cheap alternative to the more popular original.  That remains true today.  But few people really care about this figure.  And, that makes content on him somewhat hard to find.  Most of the items I dug up are actually from the time of the figure's actual release.  So, it's an interesting look into the past.

2005 Comic Pack Zartan Profile

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at the Attica Gazette

2005 Comic Pack Zartan by joesandtoys

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at JoeADay.com

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at JoeBattleLines.com

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at GeneralsJoesReborn.com

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at Mike's Collection

Rarities - Action Force Zartan

Zartan was one of Hasbro's most popular toys.  Something like 1.7 million were produced.  Despite that asinine number of toys available, Zartan remains one of the most popular and expensive vintage Joe figures.  The character was released all over the world.  And, while the single carded release from Japan is, arguably, the most sought after, there are Zartan packaging variants from many other places.  Below is one such release: the Action Force Zartan.

Zartan fell into an odd release window in Europe.  He was early enough to appear in original Action Force boxes.  Below, you'll see a sample of the early box where the selling point is the toy itself rather than the artwork that would appear later.  The most interesting part, though, is the early Cobra logo that was used on this Action Force packaging.  It's a highly stylized green snake wrapped a Cobra text bubble.  As an alternate way to promote the bad guys, it's kind of weird.  And, it didn't convey the size and capabilities of the Cobra organization like the printed Cobra logo did.

The figure and swamp skier are the same as those released in North America.  You will note that the Swamp Skier features alternate stickers.  Missing is the cool chameleon sticker that is the calling card of the North American Zartan.  Really, I wish this had become more of the logo of the dreadnoks than the later offerings that appeared in the 2000's.

Seeing the toy in action, though, would have been a big selling point for me as a kid.  I was never a huge fan of the artwork on the boxes or cards because they often didn't match the toy you were getting.  And, one of the lasting memories I have of the Action Force comic was that they included ads that featured the actual toys in action.  Back in the '80's, there was no such thing as action figure photography.  So, it was awesome to see some of the toys out of their boxes and set in actual play settings.

Here is a later Action Force box.  It is more in line with the Hasbro release in North America.  You will note, however, that this version features a grey filecard.  And, this is the much harder to find version of the filecard where the reference to Zartan being a "paranoid schizophrenic" has been Bowdlerized.

1993 Ninja Force Zartan - Around the Web

Older collectors hate the 1993 Ninja Force Zartan.  Categorically, they are wrong.  This is a great look for Zartan and is in line with the character's origins.  My main issue with this look is that, chronologically, this Zartan appearance should precede his bizarre 1984 outfit.  This punk inspired Zartan better fits with the lost youth narrative of the late 1970's.  Here, Zartan was learning his craft and becoming the man who would later become the notorious villain.

There's a nice bit of content that features this figure.  So, it is a look that gets some use.  So, take a few minutes and check some great Zartan content from around the web.

1993 Ninja Force Zartan Profile

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by fun_time_at_serpentors_lair

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by elevatemetoahigherhumanform

1993 Ninja Force Zartan at JoeADay.com

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by tonegunsrevisited

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by flatline

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by bruxovigo

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by corny_weirdo

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by elevatemetoahigherhumanform

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by tituslester32

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by bruxovigo

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by gen_liederkranz

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by atticagazette

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by elevatemetoahigherhumanform

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by gen_leiderkranz

1993 Ninja Force Zartan by evilface

2023 Soundwave with Zartan and Zarana

It has been one year since Hasbro announced the 2022 Stinger.  It was a surprise vehicle with limited quantities offered on Pulse.  It shipped fairly quickly after the announcement.  To this day, though, we do not know where the rest of the Stinger production run ended up.  A lot were shipped to Europe.  But, I do think there's still stock out there since Hasbro has been open about how badly their warehouses are stuffed full of unsold merchandise.

But, finally, after a full 12 months of speculation on the death of o-rings, Hasbro finally offered up a new product.  It was the long rumoured Soundwave who transforms into the Thunder Machine.  It's pretty likely that Hasbro designed the Soundwave back when they thought the o-ring line might have a modicum of success.  But, after the retail disaster that was both Megatron and Bumblebee, it's unlikely any retailers were willing to subsidize another shelf clogging disaster that also came with a stupidly high price.

But, it now seems that retailers are now once again willing to work with Hasbro to get this long suffering product to retail.  And, you can now order this Soundwave along with an o-ring Zarana and Zartan for a whopping $100.  After tax and shipping, you're going to spending a lot of money on two carded o-ring figures.  But, I think it's a lot better to get two of them than just one like we did with the 2022 toys.  I just want high quality figures that command that premium price

As to the toy itself, the Thunder Machine doesn't make much sense.  Historically, Dreadnok themed toys don't do very well among collectors.  Aside from that, though, the Thunder Machine isn't really even a top 10 iconic Joe vehicle.  They're pretty easy to find and not terribly expensive.  So, seeing a remake is weird and out of left field.  But, we haven't seen one in nearly 4 decades.  So, from that perspective, it's OK.  I'm just disappointed that they didn't make it in different colors.  A Thunder Machine in Sears Stinger colors would have been awesome.  But, I don't need another one in the same colors as the original.

It's the figures, though, that are so disappointing.  One, we've seen both Zartan and Zarana multiple times since the vintage days.  I'd really rather have molds that weren't repainted in the 2000's.  (And, in the case of both these figures, hit MASSIVE clearance during that time.)  But, they are characters that people tend to like.  And, they are both good names that might help move the toys.  But, the renders from the release are not great.  

To begin with, the figures have painted heads.  Those are terrible.  They suck and ruin any figure.  We need flesh plastic heads, not pink painted versions that will wear and chip with the slightest use.  After that, though, there are other positives and negatives.  

Zarana finally features the arm tattoo that was removed from the figure in 1986.  I can't tell if they added the flesh colored paint under her ripped pants as the 1986 figure also intended.  It's a nice vintage homage.  But, the rest of Zarana is pretty much the same as the original.  Her black gloves, though, go all the way up to her elbow joints.  With the juxtaposition of black gloves versus flesh upper arms, it's painfully obvious that this is cost savings move on a $100 toy.  I'd accept black elbows on $4 Funskool figures: not on $20+ figures geared for collectors.  Zarana's head also isn't great.  It's like they tried too hard on it.  We'll see if the final product is better.  But, we have yet to see renders undergo massive improvements prior to release.

Zartan features a face with paint that based on his cartoon appearance.  But, sadly, it looks too much like Kiss makeup.  The upside is that the figure will include with backpack and face mask along with an update on his original pistol.  So, that's an improvement.  But, the colors on his chest plate are a combo of his 1984 (that really worked) and his 2005 (that didn't work) colors.  Again, for a $5 figure, this is fine.  For a massively expensive collectible, this really isn't.  The figure should be a perfect rendition of Zartan.  Not something that's indistinguishable from a $3 comic pack figure.

So, as you can tell, I'm not a fan of this item.  I can't abide by Transformers being seen as integral to Joe.  I don't want a $60 Transformer that is unsellable on the secondary market.  So, in end, I'm paying $50+ for two figures that are deeply flawed.  After the disappointing quality on the Skystriker figures, I'm really fed up with paying premium prices for quality that was poor when the figures cost a fraction of their current price.  

Sadly, it seems there are at least two more of these in some stage of development.  A MOBAT/Optimus Prime with Hawk and a TTT with Sgt. Slaughter are the names.  We'll see if they come to be.  I don't see this item being a huge seller, especially with it being available at every obscure online store in the world.  But, the historic failure of the first two Transformers didn't preclude another being made.  I'm at a point where I'd rather have no o-ring Joes than poor quality figures that are included with a toy line in which I have interest and have to pay a premium to acquire.

Funskool Zartan - Around the Web

In 2001, Hasbro produced one of the worst figures in the entire history of the line: the ARAHC Zartan.  Fortunately, just a few months after the Hasbro figure was shown, Funskool came through and released a new version of the classic V1 Zartan mold.  The Funskool figure wasn't too far off from the 1984 Zartan.  He featured a little extra silver and black chest and knee pads.  The biggest change was to the eyes, though.  The Funskool figure has creepier eyes with less paint.  

Sadly, you don't see this figure as frequently as you used to.  Carded figures have greatly appreciated, seemingly oblivious to the fact that thousands upon thousands of these were imported to the US.  So, there's not a ton of content on the figure out there.  But, you can enjoy what little there is, below.

Funskool Zartan Profile

Funskool Zartan at the Attica Gazette

Funskool Zartan at Joe A Day.com

Funskool Zartan by xxteam_cobraxx

Funskool Zartan by R.T.G. at ARAH Gallery

Funskool Zartan by atwooddan

Funskool Zartan by Funskool Rony

1984 Chameleon

Everyone loves Zartan.  Everyone.  The original figure remains one of the best toys of the 1980's.  While everyone focuses on the Zartan figure and his amazing gear, there was a reason that the figure was sold only in a boxed set.  In the U.S., you could not buy a Zartan figure without also acquiring his Chameleon Swamp Skier.  Though the years, the Chameleon has remained an iconic piece of Zartan's characterization.  But, it has also fallen wayside to the sheer dominance of Zartan's character.  In short, it's something that is definitely tied to Zartan.  But, really has never taken on a life of its own nor been co-opted by other characters.  But, after 1984, it was also a piece of Zartan's character that rarely made an appearance.

As a toy, the Chameleon kind of sucks.  It's small.  The driver has to ride it awkwardly.  It doesn't have any weapons.  It has no defensive capabilities.  And, even new out of the box, it was really delicate and brittle.  But, none of this mattered.  The Chameleon and Zartan were peas in a pod and every kid I knew kept them together.  Zartan would always ride in on his Chameleon and outmaneuver the Joes.  The vehicle was fast, could jump and was capable of gliding over every surface. The water sprayer was impossibly strong and could wipe out an entire line of Joes.  The ink jets in the back were poisonous and could even stop a Whale as it would cover the entire vehicle and crew with opaque liquid.  This was the joy of youth.  The ridiculousness of something like the Chameleon didn't matter because it looked cool and was an essential part of one of the best figures in the Joe line.

The Chameleon established the odd blue and green color scheme as one for the Dreadnoks.  It was the first vehicle to use these colors.  Dreadnok vehicles then used the color for the Swampfire and Sears Dreadnok Ground Assault.  This creates a nice symmetry with the entire Zartan and Dreadnok set and helps it all blend together.  There was really no reason for the colors to be chosen, initially.  But, the green was likely chosen to match up with the swamp theme and that was one of the aspects of the Zartan character that most appealed to me.  There was many a time when the Joes would be hot on Zartan's tail and he's escape into the swamp or over quicksand on his Chameleon while the Joes were left with no way to cross the landscape.

So, it also turns out that I don't have anything left of a Chameleon other than some random parts.  I used to have a nice one.  But, it either got sold or is stashed in another box that I may not open for another decade.  So, the photos below show the discolored pieces of Chameleons that I have left.  I'm missing the front ski, the handlebars and the back bracket for the skids.  In short, you see junk below.  But, that was also part of the Chameleon's gimmick.  You could take it apart, toss it into an included junk bin, affix Zartan's "disguise" mask to his hood and you had a random swamp scavenger instead of Zartan.  The commercial from 1984 played up this feature.  But, it never really appeared elsewhere.  In the comic, Zartan used holographic disguises far more than masks and makeup.  As a toy, this gimmick was dumb enough to work and be somewhat fun.  And, having a carrying case for Cobra gear was a nice bonus.  But, the take apart aspect of the Chameleon is somewhat of a forgotten feature of the toy.

As a kid, the Chameleon's appeal was that it was unique to Zartan.  But, as my childhood Chameleon's fell apart, I had no special affinity for it.  In time, the Chameleon was mostly junk parts that the masked Zartan would drag through the swamp.  As the mid eighties turned to the late eighties, though, I also found value in having the Chameleon actually be junk.  By that time, I had created a world where there were lots of civilian enemies of both Joe and Cobra.  They would live in the rubble ruins of urban areas: leeches on the remnants of society that had been ransacked by war.  They would take bins of junk and try to sell them for scrap to various Joe or Cobra outfits that were nearby.  Sometimes, it was legitimate.  Other times, it was a ruse and a hidden terrorist would pop out of the junk cart and shoot somesone.  But, most often, the junk was a ruse to get someone onto a base where they'd then free a prisoner trapped in the local jail.  These one off stories brought some diversity to my Joe world.  And, they helped keep innocuous designs like Zartan's Chameleon more relevant, even after the toy was broken beyond use.

The Chameleon never appeared again.  It was included with Zartans sold in the European market.  In the 2000's, Hasbro recreated a mini version of it and carded it with a version of Zartan.  But, that was the closest approximation to the original.  Zartan appeared on a single card in Japan, but no Chameleon.  Funskool also produced a Zartan figure.  But, again, no Chameleon.  Hasbro produced over 1.7 million boxed Zartans, though.  They got their money's worth on the mold for sure.  On one level, the original was enough.  It wasn't a great vehicle or toy.  But, collectors would have loved a new version to be included with repaint era Zartan figures.  

It's actually kind of hard to find a mint and complete Chameleon without Zartan.  If you do, you can spend upwards of $30 on it.  Considering mint Zartan figures go for far more, that seems like a bargain.  There's lots of little pieces and a few key parts are extremely brittle.  Plus, even the large parts are very prone to discoloration.  Hunting around might yield you a sample for slightly over $20.  But, in this Joe market, that's a pretty small disparity between dealer and open market pricing.  As a piece of Zartan, though, the Chameleon is kind of essential.  But, on its own, it has little value.  

1984 Zartan - Random Photos Of The Day

Zartan's one of those figure who is everyone's favorite.  You simply don't see dissent on it being a classic.  Yet, it's hard to get good photos of him in action.  I've learned that my figure no longer changes color in the sunlight.  But, that's OK since I never really liked that feature anyways.  As a kid, I thought Zartan was one of those guys who were just too cool to really play with adequately.  No matter how epic his adventures, I felt they were letting the actual figure down.  Even today, I struggle to get good photos of him.  But, here you go.

2005 Comic Pack Zartan

I swear I profiled this figure.  I have photos of him from the 2007 or so timeframe.  I recall writing up something about him.  Yet, I have no record of ever completing a profile of this Zartan release from 2005.  I'm not sure how that happened.  Usually, I keep good records of my drafts and incomplete writings.  But, this one slipped through the cracks.  I do recall that, nearer the time of his release, my view of the figure wasn't strong.  The idea behind this Zartan was good.  But, the execution was lacking.  In hindsight, though, my stance has softened.  That's likely a function of the fact that Hasbro never released another Zartan and this figure's days as  peg-clogging clearance fodder are long behind it.  

The Comic Packs were an idea whose reality never achieved the promise of their intent.  While they were meant as a way to get cool updates of classic characters in vintage styles, the reality is that the Comic Packs produced a line of barely different, and often inferior, repaints with terrible gear and questionable figure inclusion.  Despite that, I can't overly fault the #74 pack for its figure mold choices.  While Zartan seemed overdone in 2005, much of that was recency bias.  We had only two releases of Zartan in the vintage line: one an alternate construction Ninja Force figure.  We then, though, saw Zartan 4 times between 2001 and 2005.  (The horrible 2001 Zartan, the excellent Funskool release, an uninteresting 2005 convention release and this comic pack figure)  And, that was just in vintage form.  For a character as important as Zartan, this isn't a lot of releases, especially when you consider the plethora of Snake Eyes, Duke, Cobra Commander and Viper figures that Hasbro keep regurgitating.  But, in such a short time, it seemed like a lot.  When you consider that only one of them (the "Tiger Force" convention release) was really all that different from a coloring perspective, you also see the overkill of the same look for a character over and over again.

The primary difference between this Zartan and the original figure is the comic book coloring.  The dark, maroon pants and cowl and replaced with brighter, more comic accurate colors.  The upside is that they neither detract from the original nor impede the update.  The colors both work, despite their differences.  The figure's chest and knee pads are solid grey plastic.  But, don't worry, they are as brittle as ever.  And, the knee pads stay on the figure no better in 2005 than they did in 1984.  The real difference, though, is the newly sculpted head.  Zartan's face is thinner and grittier.  I've always felt the original Zartan head had a bit of an otherworldly appearance.  This comic pack head removes that.  The face paint is more drastic and covers more of Zartan's countenance.  And, the cowl is much larger and covers more of the figure.  I like the new cowl as it looks more natural as an accessory than the original.  You definitely know Zartan's a weirdo.  But, the head is bizarre in a different way than the 1984 rendition.

For me, this figure is just kind of there.  It's very nice to have a cheap, decent Zartan figure available to me.  And, since this figure doesn't change color, you can take him outside for pictures without having him turn a bluish hue.  The design is close enough to the original that you neither gain nor lose anything by choosing one over the other.  That being said, though, all being equal, I'll choose the 1984 Zartan every time for a photo.  I just don't think of this figure all that often.  He's another of the bland comic pack releases that isn't memorable for anything other than how not memorable he is.  It's a fine figure.  But not one I need or even think that we're lucky to have.  He's not bad.  In fact, the figure, on his own, is quite good and is one of the highlights of the comic pack line.  But, he's not different or all that interesting, either.  It's a telling sign for both this Zartan and the comic pack line as a whole.

Comic Pack #74 was in the first wave of DTC Comic Packs that was originally only available from online toy dealers.  The DTC Joes were dead on arrival and clogged the storage shelves of these dealers for years.  Hasbro had to deeply discount the overstock and sell it Toys R Us for them to sell in their stores.  But, that only added to the problem since collectors could bypass expensive shipping and get all they wanted of the figures at local stores.  Online stores were force to clear out their stock with attractive sales prices.  The final sets finally selling out from Hasbro Toy Shop after they were reduced to $4 per pack for several weeks.  This lead to massive quantities of the figures on the secondary market.  Most collectors taking advantage of the clearance bought the packs for extra "Fred" heads.  So, they sold or traded their extra Zartans away: leaving a large surplus of figures on the market.  Even customizers got their fill of cheap Zartan bodies since many had already stocked up on extra Funskool Zartans that were also getting clearanced out at the time.  For nearly a decade, Zartan was a staple of unwanted Cobra command  figures of the early 2000's era.  He joined the 2001 Destro, 2000 Major Bludd, pretty much every Firefly and even the Comic Pack Zarana as a member of the Cobra hierarchy that simply no one wanted to buy.

Everyone wanted Zartan's original accessories.  His unique pistol, opening pack and false facemask were '80's toy icons.  But, all were missing on the 2001 release.  The Funskool figure that appeared later that year brought the mask and the pistol (though in an accessory pack like red color!) to the community.  But, all the Hasbro uses of the mold post 2001 were missing this classic gear.  (Yet, oddly, Zartan's chest and thigh pads were available.  But, as they were translucent plastic in 1984, they were likely on a different mold than the rest of Zartan's gear.)  But, Hasbro did OK with this Zartan figure.  Rather than get a gun and the disguise of his character's origins, Hasbro included a compound bow, quiver and arrows to showcase Zartan's archery skills that were fleshed out in comics after his original introduction.  The gear looks good with Zartan and brings a different era of the character's arc to toy form.  So, it was one of the rare replacements of original gear in the comic packs that both made sense and really worked well.

But, the late 2010's have brought about a Joe resurgence.  Usually, these last for just a short while.  And, they often result in new collectors overpaying for relatively recently released Joes about whom they have a false perception of rarity.  When this happened in 2001-2003, 1997 and 1998 Joe figures commanded a premium from collectors who had just missed them at retail.  15 years later, figures from these years sell for less (in real dollars!) than they did in the early part of the century.  Due to low supply, dealers routinely sell this figure for $20.  But, here's the rub.  If you can find a carded set left to the open market, it will rarely break $20.  And, you get the excellent Fred and a passable Zarana for the same money.  This Zartan alone will only sell for about $5 if you need to sell one today.  But, low availability leads to more dealer sales and a false sense of this figure's true value.  Personally, getting for $3.33 at retail seemed like a lot.  Getting them for under $2 per figure was better.  But, this figure isn't something I can't do without.  Original Zartans are far easier to find and worth the premium you'll pay over this release.  Even the Funskool Zartan remains so, too.  So, unless you find a cheap one, I'd let this Zartan go.

2001 Zartan

We all know the "Comic Book Guy" from the Simpsons.  You can hear his voice when you say "worst...Joe...EVER!".  But, which figure really is the worst?  Big Boa?  He's definitely horrible.  Raptor?  Terrible.  Crystal Ball?  Historically bad.  (Notice the 1987 theme?)  But, those figures, to me, get a break.  They were made in a time for kids of that time.  The designers of the Joe line took a chance.  It failed...miserably.  But, they were trying to make something great.  The Hasbro team of 2001, though, doesn't have that as a fallback.  They knew better.  They were making a line of Joes for collectors, to appeal to collectors and hoped that collectors would love them.  As such, their release of the 2001 Zartan figure really is unforgivable and that makes him my far and away choice for the worst figure in the line.

When Joe returned in 1997, collectors were lukewarm to the offerings.  Vintage Joes were cheap and plentiful.  So, the missing molds and generally lackluster repaints didn't ignite the collecting world.  1998, though, started to change things.  Hasbro filling in the Oktober Guard was a huge nod to collectors.  The classic Firefly figure returned to retail for the first time in 14 years.  And, Hasbro dropped 4 spectacular army building figures into the collecting world.  The 1998 line really felt like Hasbro really understood Joe collectors.  When the new line debuted in 2000, the first wave felt like it carried on this tradition.  Cobra Commander, the Baroness mold, another Firefly (that was OK then!) and General (Toma)Hawk all felt like they were made for collectors.  The rest of the figures were well done enough that the line felt like a solid homage to the vintage run.  But then, Hasbro out-thought themselves.  Instead of getting collectors what they wanted, they continued to pack army builders with named Cobra characters.  They painted every Joe in olive drab: diluting the color.  And, terrible homage figure shredded any credibility that the Joe team at Hasbro had.  The line spiraled into oblivion as retail interest faded away.  The final insult was the release of the Zartan figure.

In 2001, Zartan was about as popular a Cobra as you could find.  At the time, it was rare for a G.I. Joe figure to appear on "Best Of" toy lists.  Joe just didn't have the cachet.  However, Zartan was an exception.  His name and gimmick transcended Joe and the Zartan figure was as popular as any of the mainstay Joes or Cobras.  Collectors really had no options.  There was the original Zartan figure.  And, that was it.  The 1993 Ninja Force figure was simply ignored as the Joe world of the time barely acknowledged any figure made after 1987.  So, collectors were keen for a new Zartan that was cheaper and less brittle than the original.  The anticipation was high: probably higher for any figure other than the planned "Crimson Viper" that ultimately ended up a convention exclusive release.  When the figure appeared, though, the disappointment was colossal.  The Zartan was not the version 1.  It was a newly amalgamated figure using the SAW Viper body and a new head based on the original.  To say the figure was terrible and not in any way up to the legacy of the original Zartan is an understatement.  Collectors were dismayed at Hasbro's complete ineptitude when it came to such and important character.  They had completely bungled one of the easiest slam dunks in the line's history.

The very best part of the Zartan story, though, comes from India.  Right after Hasbro botched their Zartan figure, Funskool announced they were releasing a Zartan figure on a single card.  When the images showed up, Funskool was using the V1 Zartan mold!  And, it was a slight repaint of the American figure.  In short, it was everything American collectors wanted.  So, the Hasbro Zartan was all but forgotten as jilted collectors instead spent $4 to buy Funskool Zartans.  This way, they got a mask and the original gun (though in red).  The upside is that this fiasco lead many collectors who had avoided Funskool due to quality control issues to finally take the plunge to get a cool new Zartan figure.  The bad news was that Funskool quality at the time was terrible and many collectors found their worst expectations of poor quality to be true.

The real travesty of this mold is that it used up a slot on the SAW Viper's body.  As such, the body got a bad rap.  We'd only see the SAW Viper one more time: in the 2003 Python Patrol set.  Sadly, this figure is not in the standard pattern as the rest of the figures and is bright red in color.  The SAW Viper would have been a great substitute in the Urban Strike set or as part of a convention army builder.  The Zartan head created for this release could have found life on another, better conceived Zartan.  But, Hasbro got the V1 Zartan mold back from Funskool in 2003.  (In an ill conceived attempt to appease collectors.  Funskool's return of the molds ended up hurting collectors since Hasbro simply never used most of the molds and the Funskool figures who had been cheap and plentiful were taken out of production: never to return.)  From the ashes of this figure could have risen a phoenix of other, decent figures.  But, Hasbro let this Zartan and his parts die on the vine and focused their efforts on rehashes of the V1 figure.

One of the things that blinded Hasbro in the 2000's was their attempts to remain true to the originals.  In some cases, that worked.  But, in the case of this Zartan, it backfired atrociously.  If you take the flesh parts of this figure and color them silver, you get a solid homage to V1 Zartan that's not ridiculous.  The collar on his chest would then make sense and you get a figure that was different enough that people might have actually warmed to him.  The SAW Viper accessories still made no sense.  But, a few extra sets of those were nice to have when the 2004 Cobra Infantry Team was so weakly equipped.  Just making one color change would transform the worst figure ever into something that collectors could have, at least, accepted.  I doubt even that figure would have been popular.  But, he wouldn't be the laughingstock of the line.

Again, this figure is worthless.  It's so worthless that you don't see them very often because no one wants to waste their time on the figure.  As the Shadow Viper with whom he was packed isn't an overly popular army builder, there weren't collectors who stockpiled dozens or hundreds of spare Zartan figures and who will easily part with one for a buck or two.  But, you can find the figure without too much trouble if you ask around.  Since you can get a carded version for under $10 and that includes the excellent Shadow Viper, it's probably best to just buy a carded sample and open it up.

I hate this figure.  I hate this figure because he's terrible.  I hate this figure because he took up a rare slot for a vintage figure and it was wasted.  I hate this figure because I hate what Hasbro turned the ARAHC into.  But, mostly, I hate this figure because someone (probably a lot of someones) at Hasbro at the time looked at this monstrosity and thought that collectors would gobble up garbage because it had the Zartan name.  And, they were right.  I have one.  At one time, I had three or four of them due to my acquisition of a few Shadow Vipers.  But, they were also wrong.  The type of lazy thinking lead to demise of the short lived Joe line.  I suspect that was Hasbro's plan as they geared up to get the JvC sculpts into production.  But, their disdain for collectors lives on to this day.  And, that irritates me.  But, I see items like the 2017 Missile Command and think that, maybe, Hasbro is finally starting to get it.  But, when items like that are only available for exclusive, limited windows before you have to pay a 100% - 200% markup on the aftermarket,  I still see them thumbing their noses at us.  But, like I said, I'm still here.  So, now we all know who the true fool is.