1993 Shark 9000

I'm not really sure why it's taken me almost 25 years to talk about the Shark 9000.  It is a great vehicle.  And, I acquired it very early in my adult collecting days.  I found it at a K-Mart store that was going out of business.  It was $10 on clearance and the only Joe toy they had left.  It was in the days before Christmas in 1995: a time when Joes were really starting to disappear from retail.  But, that's not the point of this profile.

I've talked about my younger brothers from time to time.  In general, they weren't as into toys as I was.  My younger brother really didn't much care for action figures.  And, once I was done buying Joes, he was, too.  My youngest brother, though, enjoyed them quite a bit.  And, after 1988 when I packed all of my nice Joes away in a red Lego container that was hidden in my closet, it was this brother who often sneaked in, took a few choice Joes from the container and left me scrambling in coming days trying to track down all of their accessories.  When, I added the 1989 Snake Eyes to the container, it was he who was most often missing.  Even into 1990, when I bought a lone Night Viper to add to my small collection, my brother was still stealing him out of the box.

Most of the 1988 Joe figures that entered our house were through my youngest brother.  And, even the lone 1989 figure that we owned: Scoop, was his.  He even got a Target Paratrooper Hit and Run.  As he aged out of toys, he still maintained a casual interest in collecting.  As the late 1990's began and I was falling into the trap that is toy collecting, he was also interested.  While he didn't fall into the abyss as much as I did, he did like toys and would often accompany me on my limited toy runs.  It was he who suggested stopping by the Castleton K-Mart on that rainy pre-Christmas day.  The K-Mart was tucked away in a corner of the shopping complex that was difficult to get into and even more difficult to leave.  As such, I never went there.  But, he suggested it since our day had been mostly fruitless.  And, once inside, I found the joy that is the Shark 9000.  Best of all, it was on clearance for a paltry $10.  I still have the box.  Though, the yellow clearance sticker finally dried out and fell off a few years ago.  

So, I bought the Shark and took it home.  Here, I opened it up and put it together.  I kept it under my bed while I was home and left it there when I returned to school a few weeks later.  On the occasion when I'd come home, I'd invariably find that the Shark 9000 was either disheveled and filled with different figures than I would choose for it.  Or, it was missing altogether.  I'd then venture upstairs to find it strewn among my brother's possessions in his all too messy bedroom.  I'd find the parts, put it back together and push it further under my bed, hidden by boxes of baseball cards before I returned to school again.

Eventually, as my brother neared college age, this stopped and my toys were undisturbed.  We did, though, bond over some of the weird mid 1990's cartoons and shows that were around during that time.  Right as I moved back to town after college, he left to attend school on the East Coast.  We didn't cross paths too often.  I moved to Arizona in late 1997.  But, when I came for Christmas that year, I brought him a box of loose Tick figures.  At the time, treasures like Man Eating Cow were $100 figures: more than the final 17 figures from the vintage Star Wars line would run you in those days.  And, the cow was in the box.  Along with most of the other late series rare figures.  I had gotten the lot on early Ebay for a song and decided to give the figures to him instead of trying to flip them.  At some point, after I'd left for home, he went to Toys R Us and bought himself a 1997 A-10 Thunderbolt with Ace and Hawk.

Over the years, I'd see the toys in his house.  Every now and then, he'd ask about value.  At some point, though, both the Tick figures and the A-10 became the domain of his kids.  And, they disappeared.  It's a better fate for them than to be tucked in a shoebox in some closet.  And, it's kind of depressing to me to see how the Tick figures, once one of the treasures of the 1990's, have become left behind relics.  Were they better toys, I might try to track them down.  I did take some pleasure, though, in showing the classic Tick cartoon to my boys.  While it wasn't all that enthralling for them, they did end up kind of liking it.  And, as I've used the term "Thrakkorzog!" as a euphemistic expletive in front of them for their entire lives, some of my weirdness started to make sense to them.  

The point of all this, though, is my youngest brother passed away this week.  He was born with health problems.  And the fact that he lived as long as he did is a testament to medical science.  But, his death was still sudden and unexpected.  In recent years, I moved just a block away from him.  Despite that, we had differences that put a permanent wedge between us.  I really want to say that those seem petty, now.  But, frankly, they don't.  We had become different people in our middle age.  And, there were certain things that neither of us were willing to compromise on.  But, I was outside his hospital room when he passed.  And, I'm grateful for that.  

This is a blog about toys.  But, really, it's a blog about me and the relationship I have with toys.  They are something that permeates my life.  And, it's through them that I often shape memories of the people who matter.  I recall a guy who gave me two vintage Star Wars figures he found in the engineering lab.  I can still see the Skystriker sitting behind the metal bars of a closet that was in an acquaintance's magnificent house in Dayton, Ohio.  And, I can still see the K-Mart on that rainy day when I was riding in the car with my brother.  Undoubtedly, we were listening to some bootleg cassette of an undiscovered punk band from Chicago.  And so, I write.  Mostly, because it's a way for me to process what I'm feeling and record my thoughts at a time when I can't really make much of them.  

My Shark 9000 is now badly discolored.  The photos below are old...but not all ancient.  Sure, the photo in the pool with the Hydro Vipers was taken in 2001.  But, the photo with the 1989 Deep Six was taken in 2016.  The Shark 9000 hadn't discolored badly, yet.  But, the tinges of yellow were there.  And, that was also 8 years ago.  Now, my Shark 9000 is a yellowy disaster that really makes it impossible to enjoy the toy any longer.  But, I'll never get rid of it.  There's a lot of memories that are incorporated into it.  Some time, probably on an around the web post in 2029 or so, I'll explore all the other good memories that I have with this toy.  Until then, I'm going to just stick with that day at K-Mart.

1991 Lifeline (Rice Krispies Mail Away) - Around The Web

This figure hearkens back to the good old days of food tie ins.  You could eat some cereal and send away for a "free" G.I. Joe figure.  Six to eight weeks later, you'd get a little cardboard box in the mail with the figure inside.  There was no greater feeling than seeing that little mailer with your name on it.  Especially when you knew what was in there.  

This Lifeline isn't seen all that often.  Most people use the more common (and probably better) 1986 retail version of the figure.  The subtle nuance of this variant, though, speaks to the morals of the company who sponsored his creation as well as the economics of toys into the early 1990's.  

Sadly, the days of promotional items like this are long gone.  It's been replaced, though, by the proliferation of online sellers.  My kids know that Amazon or Wal Mart boxes can mean new toys.  So, they get the same feeling.  It's just in a different form that is much more efficient.  Still, it's fun to remember coming home from a two week summer vacation and finding a mailer box or two strewn among the accumulated mail that the postman used to slide through the slot in our front door every day.  

So, check out the sparse content I could find on this mail away Lifeline and enjoy the nostalgic rush.

1991 Rice Krispies Lifeline Profile

1991 Rice Krispies Lifeline by gijoe_for_fun

1991 Rice Krispies Lifeline by Slipsteam80

1991 Rice Krispies Lifeline at JoeADay.com

1991 Rice Krispies Lifeline at Toys From the Past

1991 Rice Krispies Lifeline by thedustinmccoy

2024 Sgt. Slaughter & Leatherneck Transformer

 Sgt. Slaughter himself posted this photo today.  It shows the long rumored Sgt. Slaughter and Leatherneck Triple T that is also a Transformer.  We all knew it was coming.  We all knew what it would look like.  And, now that it's here, it's exactly what we knew it would be.  Which is to say, this breaks no new ground.  

If you have a 1986 Leatherneck (which is a cheap and easy to acquire figure), you don't need this one.  It's nice to have access to a Slaughter baton.  But, this thing will run between $80 and $100.  You can easily get any version  of Slaughter, complete with a vintage baton, for under this price.  Triple T vehicles remain cheap and easy to find.  Some discolor, especially on the engine cover.  But, they're still not a difficult thing to acquire.  

So, really, what purpose does this serve?  It's great that Sgt. Slaughter remains involved in the brand.  But, there's nothing here that really speaks to collectors.  And, with the, arguably, more collectible Thunder Machine with Zartan and Zarana rotting at every online retailer, I really wonder who the audience for this product actually is.  Joe fans leave these behind.  Transformers fans do, too.  If Hasbro got weird, these wouldn't do any worse.  A green and purple Megatron that turned in the Cobra Bugg might actually sell out.  This...won't.

I've never waited for clearance for any Joe o-ring product.  I've regretted that decision terribly.  I've found almost no value in the Pulse era releases of vintage inspired Joes.  And, this product does nothing to alter that.  So, I think I have my first item where I will wait for clearance.  And, should this be the one item that sells out and I can't get for 1/3 the retail price, I'm OK with that.  I don't need to be a completist any longer.  And, I'm not convinced that these modern remakes will deteriorate at a slower rate than the already 40 year old originals.  

So, I'm left with what feels like the end.  Hasbro has finally released enough sub-par o-ring products that I've lost any interest in what they've done.  I'm OK with simply letting them go.  And, I'm one of the biggest marks for vintage style Joe figures that is still left in the community.  I've never even bothered to open the Zartan/Zarana.  Not even the scathing profile on the worst Joe figure ever released is enough to get me to pry open the box that's collecting dust in the bottom of a tucked away, basement closet.  Even at a steep discount, this Sgt. Slaughter/Leatherneck product will face the same fate.

2005 Comic Pack Zartan - Around the Web

Zartan took Cobra to new heights of super-villainy.  He was just a bizarre character who bordered on super natural.  But,  he worked quite well.  And, to this day, he remains one of the most popular Cobra characters and figures.  In 2005, he got a Comic Pack release that was OK but not a substantial upgrade over the original.  At the time, it was a cheap alternative to the more popular original.  That remains true today.  But few people really care about this figure.  And, that makes content on him somewhat hard to find.  Most of the items I dug up are actually from the time of the figure's actual release.  So, it's an interesting look into the past.

2005 Comic Pack Zartan Profile

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at the Attica Gazette

2005 Comic Pack Zartan by joesandtoys

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at JoeADay.com

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at JoeBattleLines.com

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at GeneralsJoesReborn.com

2005 Comic Pack Zartan at Mike's Collection

1988 Iron Grenadier

1987 was the swam song of my childhood collecting days.  I only bought a couple of figures in early 1988 before "growing up" and moving on with other parts of my life.  My younger brothers, though, still bought Joes.  And, slowly, they acquired most of the 1988 basic figure line.  When they brought home a new figure, I'd check it out.  And, in many cases, I found the new assortment of characters to be the type of figure I'd have simply loved were I still playing with toys.  Among the figures my younger brother acquired was the 1988 Iron Grenadier.

Upon his entry into our home, I found the Iron Grenadier fascinating.  First, I loved the name.  It conveyed strength and ability.  Second, the figure was amazing.  He looked like the a cross between the original Cobra Trooper and the later Cobra Viper.  Third, his Uzi was the type of weapon I always wanted Snake Eyes' Uzi to be.  It was bigger and bulkier and just seemed more substantial than the original version of the weapon.  Fourth, the figure's colors were great.  Black wasn't a common Cobra color for figures.  So, seeing it on a trooper was really different from the other figures that had been the staples of my childhood.  Finally, the figure included a sword.  Sure, it was kind of ornamental.  But, it was like the swords that Cylon Warriors from BattleStar Galactica had used.  They made no sense at all.  But, the mere presence of the sword was a cool visual and a constant reminder of quick death by a sharp blade.  

I felt that the details on the figure were just excellent.  They implied a ton of great uses.  The figure had the cool helmet and accessories.  But, he had a gas mask covering his face.  So, I could use the Iron Grenadier as an elite guard for Cobra's leadership.  Or, I could use him as a standard field commando who was better equipped than most of the Joes of that time.  So, he was an upgrade from the final Cobras who comprised my childhood collection.

During the rare occasion that I was home alone and could actually get my Joes out for one "final" battle, I'd use my brother's Iron Grenadier.  Usually, he was among the last survivors and had often taken out more than one Joe.  His newness afforded him this opportunity.  But, the overall quality of his mold pushed him over the top.  Really, though, I never felt like the adventures I created for the figure could live up to the coolness of the mold.  So, he ended up being a figure I'd appreciate from a visual perspective.  Though, had he been released in 1986, he's probably have been the backbone of my Cobra army.  I was just too old to really get the figure into the down and dirty adventures that cemented earlier figures as my favorites.

In the early 2000's, I had quite the Iron Grenadier army.  He was, for a time, the most common figure in my collection.  This wasn't due to anything other than the dynamics of the time, though.  I was among the few collectors who bought lots of 1988 and 1989 figures.  And, those lots always included an Iron Grenadier because even the army building sensitive collectors of the era wouldn't remove him from a collection to sell on his own.  So, just through acquisitions of bulk lots, I ended up with nearly a dozen Iron Grenadiers.  But, I really didn't do anything with them.  So, during my purge of the early 2010's, I sold off all but a lone Iron Grenadier.  And, while I have many regrets over the figures I liquidated at the time, the Iron Grenadier is not one of them.  I took one photo of them in 2000.  They didn't come out again until one photo shoot in 2007.  And, then, they don't appear again in any of my photos until I dusted one off for a shoot in 2023.  The figures just didn't matter to me and I didn't use them at all.  So, I'm glad someone else is able to enjoy that early army I had acquired.  

One of the things that plagues all long running IPs is bloat.  In order to keep things fresh, new concepts and characters have to be constantly added.  Over time, the IP becomes too large to manage.  And, you have to retcon certain aspects.  Or, just outright ignore significant events that occurred in the past.  That's how I view Iron Grenadiers.  While I enjoyed their introduction in the comic, there really wasn't any place for them to go.  Destro didn't work as a third faction in the story.  Him seeing himself as Cobra Commander's equal or better was a more interesting place to keep him.  But, eventually, the second in command has to make a play for leadership.  And, that's a fun story for a time.  In the real world, people like are killed.  In fiction, you don't waste a valuable character.  So, you figure out a way to put them back into their standard place and start all over again.  

This is where Joe found itself in the 1990's.  Hasbro started the decade with a slew of new characters and excellent toys.  But, by the following year, they were bringing back classic characters.  In the comic, the story was "getting the band back together" and heading towards a consolidation.  The upside is that kids of the '90's got to enjoy classic characters that were still appearing in old cartoon re-runs to go along with the new life that Hasbro was still breathing into the line.  The lost years are 1988 and, to a lesser extent, 1989.  Those figures and characters don't have the zealous following of the prior years and have not really found the later life that many of the brighter figures from the '90's have found as youngsters of that era have grown into adult collectors.  

So, the shelf life of the Iron Grenadier is short.  And, in reality, it was.  Hasbro released the bulk of their faction's items in 1988 with some updated toys in 1989.  There were a couple of figures in 1990.  But, then, the concept didn't really appear again.  Destro was brought back into the Cobra fold with his 1992 release and the Iron Grenadiers didn't show up until the early 2000's when Hasbro was mining the vintage line for any character they could find.  The entire idea of Destro being an army unto himself may have been re-examined in more modern fiction.  But, as I've grown to find the character of Destro to be overly problematic (there is no noble villain), my interest in Iron Grenadiers as whole has fallen away.

I do think that part of the reason for the relative short time that Iron Grenadiers appeared in the line was due to timing.  There was no cartoon in 1988.  So, there was no cross sell among kids of the day to get them interested in the toys.  Instead, kids of that era were treated to re-runs of the original series.  So, they are more likely to see Destro as a Cobra instead of this weird third faction that appeared on retail shelves.  The Iron Grenadiers as a concept were also meant to be a foil to BattleForce 2000.  Both had futuristic designs for their vehicles.  But, this idea was never fleshed out and it's difficult to even find relics of their past alignment among the toys that were released.  BattleForce 2000 fizzled as a concept, too.  Had there been a new cartoon in 1988 that focused on their antagonistic dynamic, the two sub teams would likely have near fanatical support among a group of fans who aged during their heyday.  Instead, we're left with some cool toys that don't really fit with the overall theme of G.I. Joe vs. Cobra.

In general, 1988 figures are pretty common.  Hasbro expected big things from the G.I. Joe Movie.  But, that didn't work out.  I've never been sure if my perception of the fate of 1988 figures was based on the fact that I happened to age out right when the movie failed.  But, in 1990, I could still find the entire 1988 Joe line at Kohl's stores around my city.  They had given up on Joe after 1989, likely due to the massive unsold stock that lined their shelves.  So, this has always left me thinking that Joe got a lot less popular starting in 1988.  But, a focus shift away from the core along with the end of the syndicated cartoon series both also contribute to my feeling this way.  As my local hobby shops still had pegs full of 1986 Joes on their shelves as late as 1988, I do think that my perception is just related to the kismet of me happening to age out of Joe right as the other things were happening.

The Iron Grenadier mold was used just twice.  The first was for this Iron Grenadier.  It was then sent down to Brazil and released in nearly identical colors as Terrork.  Terrork is a great name.  Even if the figure, itself, is just the standard Iron Grenadier.  The club wanted the mold for the 2005 convention set.  But, they didn't find it.  (Hasbro had it since Terrork's Brazilian contemporaries were all under Hasbro control at the time.)  They resculpted a new head to resemble the 1988 figure's and put it on a new body.  Around 2017, or so, a new factory custom maker named Letal Toys produced an Iron Grenadier mold.  The first wave included a green, tan, white and crimson versions.  Later, a light blue convention exclusive was released.  There were many more planned waves that included a Cobra Blue version and a classically colored version with more paint applications.  But, there were some mold shenanigans at the factory and no further Iron Grenadier factory customs were produced.  Black Major did resurrect the Uzi from the figure and included it with his Worms figures around 2020.  There's lots of life left in the mold.  And, a factory custom maker could make a go of it with the Iron Grenadier as his base.  But, those days are probably past.

Iron Grenadiers remain pretty easy to find.  It's tougher to find figures with perfect gold these days.  But, even that is doable as long as you're prepared to pay a premium.  High quality figures tend to run between $20 and $25, now.  Dealers will sell an appalling amount for $35, though.  There are bargains to be had, if you're willing to sacrifice the pistol and some of the gold paint.  But, the days of getting a few of them for three or four bucks each are long gone.  I don't think I'd pay a premium for this figure.  He was never important enough to me to justify a high price.  But, I also have a figure left over from my army building days.  So, I don't have to make a decision on a more expensive purchase.