2023 Soundwave with Zartan and Zarana

It has been one year since Hasbro announced the 2022 Stinger.  It was a surprise vehicle with limited quantities offered on Pulse.  It shipped fairly quickly after the announcement.  To this day, though, we do not know where the rest of the Stinger production run ended up.  A lot were shipped to Europe.  But, I do think there's still stock out there since Hasbro has been open about how badly their warehouses are stuffed full of unsold merchandise.

But, finally, after a full 12 months of speculation on the death of o-rings, Hasbro finally offered up a new product.  It was the long rumoured Soundwave who transforms into the Thunder Machine.  It's pretty likely that Hasbro designed the Soundwave back when they thought the o-ring line might have a modicum of success.  But, after the retail disaster that was both Megatron and Bumblebee, it's unlikely any retailers were willing to subsidize another shelf clogging disaster that also came with a stupidly high price.

But, it now seems that retailers are now once again willing to work with Hasbro to get this long suffering product to retail.  And, you can now order this Soundwave along with an o-ring Zarana and Zartan for a whopping $100.  After tax and shipping, you're going to spending a lot of money on two carded o-ring figures.  But, I think it's a lot better to get two of them than just one like we did with the 2022 toys.  I just want high quality figures that command that premium price

As to the toy itself, the Thunder Machine doesn't make much sense.  Historically, Dreadnok themed toys don't do very well among collectors.  Aside from that, though, the Thunder Machine isn't really even a top 10 iconic Joe vehicle.  They're pretty easy to find and not terribly expensive.  So, seeing a remake is weird and out of left field.  But, we haven't seen one in nearly 4 decades.  So, from that perspective, it's OK.  I'm just disappointed that they didn't make it in different colors.  A Thunder Machine in Sears Stinger colors would have been awesome.  But, I don't need another one in the same colors as the original.

It's the figures, though, that are so disappointing.  One, we've seen both Zartan and Zarana multiple times since the vintage days.  I'd really rather have molds that weren't repainted in the 2000's.  (And, in the case of both these figures, hit MASSIVE clearance during that time.)  But, they are characters that people tend to like.  And, they are both good names that might help move the toys.  But, the renders from the release are not great.  

To begin with, the figures have painted heads.  Those are terrible.  They suck and ruin any figure.  We need flesh plastic heads, not pink painted versions that will wear and chip with the slightest use.  After that, though, there are other positives and negatives.  

Zarana finally features the arm tattoo that was removed from the figure in 1986.  I can't tell if they added the flesh colored paint under her ripped pants as the 1986 figure also intended.  It's a nice vintage homage.  But, the rest of Zarana is pretty much the same as the original.  Her black gloves, though, go all the way up to her elbow joints.  With the juxtaposition of black gloves versus flesh upper arms, it's painfully obvious that this is cost savings move on a $100 toy.  I'd accept black elbows on $4 Funskool figures: not on $20+ figures geared for collectors.  Zarana's head also isn't great.  It's like they tried too hard on it.  We'll see if the final product is better.  But, we have yet to see renders undergo massive improvements prior to release.

Zartan features a face with paint that based on his cartoon appearance.  But, sadly, it looks too much like Kiss makeup.  The upside is that the figure will include with backpack and face mask along with an update on his original pistol.  So, that's an improvement.  But, the colors on his chest plate are a combo of his 1984 (that really worked) and his 2005 (that didn't work) colors.  Again, for a $5 figure, this is fine.  For a massively expensive collectible, this really isn't.  The figure should be a perfect rendition of Zartan.  Not something that's indistinguishable from a $3 comic pack figure.

So, as you can tell, I'm not a fan of this item.  I can't abide by Transformers being seen as integral to Joe.  I don't want a $60 Transformer that is unsellable on the secondary market.  So, in end, I'm paying $50+ for two figures that are deeply flawed.  After the disappointing quality on the Skystriker figures, I'm really fed up with paying premium prices for quality that was poor when the figures cost a fraction of their current price.  

Sadly, it seems there are at least two more of these in some stage of development.  A MOBAT/Optimus Prime with Hawk and a TTT with Sgt. Slaughter are the names.  We'll see if they come to be.  I don't see this item being a huge seller, especially with it being available at every obscure online store in the world.  But, the historic failure of the first two Transformers didn't preclude another being made.  I'm at a point where I'd rather have no o-ring Joes than poor quality figures that are included with a toy line in which I have interest and have to pay a premium to acquire.