1982 RAM

The RAM was my first G.I. Joe toy.  My younger brother had gotten most of the entire series for his birthday in October of 1982.  I desperately wanted some figures of my own.  I had to wait for two months before my birthday would come along and give me the chance.  However, I was to be mostly disappointed that day.  Instead of a full collection of Joe toys, I got just one: the RAM.  It was nice as we didn't actually have the RAM among my brother's birthday bonanza.  But, I also owned no figures to ride it.  Not really sure what to do with a motorcycle without a rider, I left the conundrum for another day.  That proved fortuitous, though.  The next day, after school, one friend who had been sick for my party the day before dropped by to give me my present.  It was a carded Breaker figure.  Now, I not only had a rider for my cycle, but I had THE rider for my cycle who appeared on the box artwork.  From that day one, I have been rather unable to separate Breaker and the RAM as a classic combo.

My childhood RAM suffered greatly.  This was due to the fact that it was well loved.  I played with it all the time.  This lead to it getting beat up.  The footpegs were the first to go.  Then, the kickstand was broken in half.  These were acceptable losses, though.  But, eventually, a catastrophic breakage occurred.  The sidecar pegs got broken off and the gatling cannon could no longer attach to the motorcycle.  With this loss, the RAM became less useful.  So, I tried to glue the pieces together.  I used rubber cement, though, and it melted the plastic together.  But, it wasn't strong enough and quickly broke again: now in an unrepairable fashion.

Sans weapon, the RAM kind of fell into disfavor.  When the Silver Mirage debuted in 1985, I brought out the ramshackle RAM as an accoutrement to the new cycle.  But, as the Silver Mirage proved to be a horrible piece of crap, the RAM was no longer needed.  It stuck around, though.  Mostly, the carcass lied in a pile of broken an unloved toys that made up our "debris field" where we'd have adventures.  We'd clean that mess up into a shallow box.  And, then, I'd dump it out on the floor the next time I wanted the debris to be available or I was looking for some obscure part that I thought might be in there.  (That box survived in my parents attic until the late 1990s when I finally pulled all the pieces out and added them to my personal collection.)  Sometimes, a lone assassin would ride it into a Joe base to shoot the place up.  Maybe, he'd have a bomb planted on it.  Usually, though, this rogue would get shot up well before he did real damage.  But, the RAM had moved from a key component of my main group of toys to an afterthought junk toy due to the breakage it had suffered.  I didn't really think much about that, though.  I had plenty of new Joe toys to take the RAM's place.  

Christmas of 1986, though, brought the RAM back to prominence.  Not due to its return to glory.  But, instead, due to a new, unexpected repaint that came to my collection: the Dreadnok Ground Assault RAM.  This new toy renewed the RAM and proved that its design had held up and was on par with later toy designs.  As the Dreadnok RAM was green, I adopted it for the Joes and it was never a Cobra vehicle.  This RAM remained a beloved part of my childhood play pattern until the end of 1987: when I packed all my toys away.  But, it made me realize that the RAM was something that was always going to be integral to my enjoyment of the Joe line.

Even today, in the display case next to my desk, Breaker rides the RAM.  It's just one of those images of childhood that I keep around.  As I've gotten older, I've grown to appreciate Joe toys are pneumonic devices moreso than playthings.  Mostly, that's due to the toys growing old and brittle.  But, just seeing Breaker on the RAM makes me 8 years old, again.  And, it is nice to have something around which can spark those feelings: especially when things are just a bit...too adult when bills are due, the school's calling and your boss decides he wants your role to change.  The RAM fills that need.

You'll see some criticism of the RAM for the lack of handle bars.  Hasbro, though, really promoted this when they added handles to the updated versions of the RAM in the 2000's.  As a kid, I liked the weird hand holds on the sides of the cycle and inside the front hood.  Sure, they made little sense.  But, considering the cycle was designed for straight arm figures, they worked well enough.  And, it allows for solid posing on the toy, too.  I'd often have the rider be able to hold onto the controls while shooting behind them at a follower.  

After Christmas in 1982, I had three Joe vehicles and 4 Joe figures.  They were the RAM, VAMP and MMS along with Clutch, Hawk, Snake Eyes and Breaker.  This meant that I didn't really have space on three vehicles for all four figures.  I could put Snake Eyes on the RAM, behind Breaker.  But, I Breaker had to wear his pack.  So, that meant that Snake Eyes couldn't sit behind him.  I could have had Snake Eyes drive.  But, I didn't like that.  So, instead, I'd try to sit Snake Eyes on the back of the VAMP with his legs straddling the gun.  Since that didn't really work, Snake Eyes was the odd man out.  This exclusion helped reinforce the notion of Snake Eyes being a bad guy.  It also helped that we had three of them.  So, this little army of Snake Eyes figures were my bad guys in the era before Cobras were really available.  

The RAM got releases all around the world.  Palitoy, Funskool and Estrela all released versions.  (There's probably more.  But, I've pretty much given up trying to document all the worldly vehicle releases since the information is so scattered and mostly absent.)  Hasbro released it twice.  And, during the Anniversary era, Hasbro remade the cycle with updated handle bars and more details.  There's also a model kit that is sometimes mistaken for a RAM variant.  I believe it's slightly smaller than the actual RAM.  But, you'll still see those out there from time to time.

RAMs are cheap.  Even though it has lots of small and brittle parts, mint and complete versions remain easy to find.  You can get really high quality samples in the $25 range.  But, just a little wear will cut that price in half.  Dealers still think it's 2021 and price RAMs at exorbitantly high prices.  But, unlike some other lofty dealer expectations, these high priced RAMs don't move.  So, you can acquire a nice RAM for less than pretty much any figure from its release era.  Joe vehicles ebb and flow, though.  There are times when you can't give them away and other times when they out pace figures in terms of pricing.  But, it's nice that early items like this RAM are still attainable.

Action Force Z Cycle (Rapid Fire Motorcycle)

I received my first G.I. Joe toy for my birthday in December of 1982.  It was the RAM motorcycle.  I didn't get my first figure until the next day when Breaker joined my collection.  This seemed kismet since it was Breaker who was drawn as the rider on the RAM box art.  The two of them became inseparable.  Breaker was, pretty much, the only figure who got to ride the RAM and it was a perfect extension for him since the figure didn't include a weapon.  I came to view the Ram as Breaker's just as much as the VAMP belonged to Clutch.  If you lived in Europe, though, your first exposure to the RAM as a toy brought with a completely different character association.  Because, unlike in the U.S., the first European release of the RAM mold included a driver: Quarrel.  With this, the association between the Action Force Z-Cycle and Quarrel is probably more powerful than the RAM/Breaker connection.  The Action Force coloring of the toy, though, also creates a starkly different appearance for the RAM that makes it my favorite palette for the toy.

As a kid, the RAM suffered greatly due to its popularity.  My RAM went on many adventures: most of which it could not survive.  The leg pegs broke off.  The saddle bags were lost.  The kickstand snapped when I flicked it to simulate a figure kicking it down.  And, as the final nail in the RAM's coffin, the pegs that held the gatling cannon to the cycle broke and I was left with two pieces that could not be re-connected.  I glued and glued the RAM.  So much so that the plastic began to melt under the increasing in strength adhesives I applied in an attempt to make the toy whole.  Finally, it was no use.  The RAM found its way into the final resting place of many of my childhood toys: a box of broken and mismatched parts that I would cast onto the floor of our toyroom to simulate a debris field where battles or chases could take place.  For a toy, though, my original RAM couldn't have asked for much more as it was used to death.  Sadly, the great disappointment with the Silver Mirage soured me on Joe motorcycles in general and the RAM didn't return to my collection until the late summer of 2000.

This timing is interesting because two things happened in my collection at this time.  First, I acquired a massive original collection that contained pretty much all the figures and vehicles released between 1983 and 1985.  Oh, I also got this collection for free.  I just had to pay shipping.  But, while I reveled in my fortune, I also took an important step as a Joe collector as I acquired my first two international figures: Chinese Major Bludd and the Tiger Force Outback.  With this, the world of international Joes was opened to me and they quickly became my primary area of focus.  As the early 2000's slogged on, my international collection grew.  At the time, you could trade recent Toys R Us exclusive Joes pretty much straight up for many European and Brazilian releases.  As I had those in spades, I was able to pick up many figures even though I wasn't able to spend much money on my collection.  

One such acquisition was Quarrel.  At the time, Quarrel was one of the more popular international releases.  Despite the fact that she's relatively common, she was commanding prices similar to Red Jackal and Red Laser.  As with female figures from the U.S., though, the increased popularity of the character among collectors was outstripped by the figure's availability.  And, with that, Quarrel prices began to fall.  Despite this, I never really explored the possibility of adding Quarrel's missing motorcycle.  At the time, I was a figure collector and vehicles seemed like unnecessary purchases when there were so many figures I still wanted.  In the early 2010's, this changed.  I decided that I was going to hold key pieces in my collection.  And, if something made the cut to remain in my possession, it was going to mint and complete.  So, I spent a small sum of money on a complete with Z Cycle Quarrel figure.  

Once in my collection, the Action Force green color of the vehicle was a welcome respite from the sea of similarly colored vehicles that comprised the bulk of my holdings at the time.  The main thing that stood out, though, was how much the extra colors and additional stickers enhanced the Z Cycle over the RAM.  The side gun being black really helped to offset the green color and make the entire vehicle look more complex.  The red stickers also pop against the green background.  It's a dramatic shift from the 1982 RAM and brings much more life to the Z Cycle.  (I call it the Z Cycle as it's an easier name.  It's really the Rapid Fire Motorcycle.  But, that sucks to say.  Frankly, if people can make up asinine rhymes like "Argen 7" that make no sense, I can call this Z Cycle.)

For me, this alternate version of the RAM is a great toy to pair up with a variety of figures.  I enjoy the RAM mold because it has a relatively small footprint, but can also display figures, nicely.  And, everything from Funskool to Hasbro figures look good atop the Action Force green cycle.  Oddly, it's rare for Quarrel to use her native bike.  Instead, I farm it out to Lady Jaye.  I have some ideas to use it with Sightline, too.  When I find the box that holds my cycle, I'll get some pics of it with the most famous factory custom figure of all.

One of Action Force's great introductions to the Joe line was the color of green that Palitoy used for the Z Force figures and vehicles.  It is deep, rich and visually interesting.  It remains true enough to military roots to be believable.  But, it is also something that is a perfect supplement for the more drab and flat colors that Hasbro used so often.  Sadly, the color died out with Palitoy.  Neither Hasbro nor the club was able to resurrect the color.  (The club's odd fixation with drab colors affected even their Action Force homage figures in 2010 and they are not the right color of green.)  Even factory custom makers steered clear of the color until 2017 when it appeared on a couple of Red Laser's Army releases.  Even then, though, the homages were not a 100% color match.  Hopefully, it will continue to show up.  I'd love a 1985 Snake Eyes in Action Force green with black and silver details.  I'm sure others would, too.  

The RAM was a world traveler.  It was used in the US for both the original toy and then the 1986 Sears Exclusive Dreadnok Ground Assault.  You then have this Palitoy release.  From there, the RAM took a tour of South America where it was released in Brazil.  It finally ended up in India.  Funskool produced the RAM for several years and with several major variants.  (Some of which are ridiculously rare and expensive.)  The final use of the RAM was with the Funskool Street Hawk figure (which included an all black RAM motorcycle, but did not include the side gun) which Funskool produced until 2003.  RAM collectors have nearly as many items to track down as VAMP collectors.  But, most of the best colors remain relatively cheap and available.  So, pretty much anyone can at least get a sample RAM in their collection.

Like all toys these days, Z Cycles have gotten more expensive.  As Quarrel now tends to be a $150 figure, you see lots of combos of the figure and cycle for sale in the $200 range.  On it's own, the cycle goes for under $40 when it's complete.  Dealers, though, will ask two to three times that.  And, they'll get it more often than they should.  Toys like this Z Cycle were pretty common as recently as 2017.  So, their disappearance from the market seems to be more about an increase in demand.  But, there are plenty of mint and complete versions out there.  You just have to wait a lot longer for one to come along at the right price.

1986 Dreadnok RAM - Sears Exclusive

My dad was a Sears junkie.  He would go to the store and browse the various aisles like I peruse toy web sites today.  He had no real intentions of buying most of the items he saw.  But, I'm sure part of him thought that if he won the lottery, he'd buy up every tool, yard gadget and electronic device in the store and those items would somehow provide him with a modicum of satisfaction...even if he never used them.  The upside to this was that when the family was at the mall, my dad would take my brothers and I to Sears while my mother would shop in the other department stores.  In our local store, the toys were located right next to the tools.  So, he could wander those aisles while we would drool over the toys.  My main memories of spending my time at Sears are not only looking at off Joe brand toys like Rambo, Sectaurs and even the Temple of Doom toy line but also seeing the Sears G.I. Joe exclusives and holding the boxes, memorizing the details of toys I didn't really have hope that I would own.

All that longing, though, paid off.  In 1985, I found the Sears SMS under the Christmas Tree.  It quickly became one of the staples of my Joe adventures and survives, to this day, in relatively good shape.  In 1986, my younger brother opened the Dreadnok Air Assault.  I had seen this at the store, but wasn't overly fond of it.  (I had hated the FANG as a kid.)  Within a few presents, though, I discovered the Dreadnok Ground Assault as one of my flagship gifts.  This was something I had wanted since my 1986 era Cobras were wanting for additional ground vehicles.  It was quickly opened up and joined my collection as one of the few new pieces that arrived in the 1986 holiday season.

The Dreadnok RAM, though, didn't find use in the Cobra arsenal.  By late 1986 and early 1987, my original RAM was long relegated to a super glued mess that no longer worked at all.  The Silver Mirage sat in a junk pile due to the low quality and general frustrations I had when playing with it.  So, a mostly green RAM seemed like a better fit for the Joes than the Dreadnoks: characters I didn't really use any longer.  At the time, I had a slew of custom characters that I had cobbled together from parts of broken 1984, 1985 and 1986 figures.  One of these was a combo of Flint's head, Footloose's torso and Snake Eyes' legs.  (I forget the arms.  I think they actually changed a few times as I snapped thumbs.)  This character, named Thunderbolt (how original...) was the principle warrior in my collection.  He wore Flint's backpack but carried the Ripcord rifle from the Tactical Battle Platform.  His primary specialty was fast attack and his signature move was riding a motorcycle with reckless abandon into a battle.  His cycle of choice?  The Dreadnok RAM.

Perched atop the RAM, Thunderbolt would ride into the fray to save the day for the Joes time and time again.  He would both use the gatling gun sidecar and exclude it, firing his weapon with one hand while he drove the cycle with the other.  This personal transport became as much a part of the character as the figure, his rifle and the ammo he found at the bottom of the "waterfall" that was my grandfather's concrete front steps on his Buffalo, NY home.  In very short order, the Dreadnok RAM became his and his alone.  I kept pretty good care of my toys in 1986 and 1987.  But, this RAM had some pieces break due to heavy usage.  It shows how important the cycle was to one of the most integral toys in my collection.  When it came time to pack my toys away in early 1988, the Dreadnok RAM was packed with the Thunderbolt figure and kept safe while the Stinger was tossed in a box and left to the exposure in the attic of my parents' home.

Today, though, Thunderbolt is long gone...dispatched to simple memories.  The Dreadnok RAM has, instead, found itself the primary ride of the Brazilian Relampago figure.  The greens of the RAM and Stinger mesh nicely with the vintage Python Patrol figures.  Python Troopers and Officers are the right match of mold year for the Stinger and man it very well.  Relampago is a motorcycle rider.  So, his assignment to the RAM is a natural fit.  And, having a relatively rare figure ride a relatively rare motorcycle seems like an additional bonus.  But, due to the fragility and rarity of both the cycle and the jeep, I rarely use these items any longer.  It's just too dangerous to take them outside and risk breaking a three figure part on the toys just to get a photo that will get a few likes and then disappear forever.  So, this RAM and the Stinger remain boxed up and rarely venture out into the wild.  I hope to someday change that and get a nice set of photos fully showcasing the Python Patrol's symmetry with this set.

One of the calling cards of the Dreadnok exclusives was that they changed color.  For a kid in 1986, this seemed really cool and fun.  Once you owned the vehicles, though, you realized that the reality of the color changing ability was limited.  If you didn't take the toys outside, you wouldn't know they changed color.  And, if you did take them out, they would change into the other color and stay there for quite a bit of time before slowly fading back.  In short, it was a dumb gimmick, but it sold toys.  What it also did, though, was leave a legacy of super brittle and easily discolored plastic.  Dreadnok vehicles that are stored relatively well will still have broken parts due to the fragility of the aging plastic.  The color changing parts will turn dark if you're lucky.  But, more commonly, they take on a yellowish brown hue that renders the vehicles useless.  Supposedly, there is a variant on the RAM where parts can be in different colors.  I still believe that much of this is a function of plastic deterioration.  But, the variants are officially listed, legit and are something for the truly sadistic collector to track down.

Every Joe collector who grew up in the '80's has a favorite retailer story.  There is an entire subset of collectors who track down vintage cardbacks with specific price tags that denote the retailer of origin.  I recall peg after peg of figures at department stores, specialty retailers, hardware stores, mom-and-pop shops, niche providers and the multitude of chain and independent toy stores that used to dot American malls.  If you had asked people back then to forecast the retail environment 30+ years out, it's doubtful that anyone would come close to the apocalyptic space that is 2020's retail stores.  All of the small, regional, local and even national stores have long since been consolidated, merged or forced out of business due to changing consumer habits.  Old price tags and retailer exclusives like this RAM are memories of different times.  While I doubt we'll ever see a toy renaissance like the 1980's again, the reality is that today's retail simply couldn't support it.  In the '80's, there were dozens, if not hundreds of outlets in which your ideas could be sold.  Today, if Wal Mart and Amazon pass on your product, you're left with either a really cheap product that can be sold at discount stores or a really expensive niche product that's marketed to a small, affluent group.  Neither of these will ever lead to the mass adoption of a toy line and we'll never again see the culture of a youthful generation defined by hugely popular toys.

As I think back about those trips to Sears with my father, I wonder what memories my kids are forging now that they are entering the same age brackets as I was when Star Wars and G.I. Joe dominated my experience.  I also now better understand why my dad would not mind sitting in Sears for an hour or two, the kids safe, nearby on a Saturday afternoon.  There are days I'm happy to buy the week's groceries, just to get out of the house for an hour's peace.  I'm saddened that there are no longer toy stores where I can take my boys to look and browse for new playthings.  But, that experience was a big part of my childhood.  They will have a chance to experience something different.  And, I'm sure that there's some activity we do today that I consider innocuous that will burn deep memories in them and be their happy nostalgia at some point in the future.  I only hope that they're able to share those thoughts with me so we can relive them together.

I was prepared to talk about how expensive Dreadnok RAMs are.  However, I was not prepared for exactly HOW expensive they are.  Mint and complete motorcycles will sell for over $200 with most reaching $250.  Just the cycle with a broken kickstand will run you well over $100.  Simply put, that's insane for something like this.  Sure, the toy is relatively rare and time hasn't tended to be kind to the brittle and discoloring plastic.  But, the toy is also limited and not something that is essential for a collection.  But, the Dreadnoks are popular.  The RAM is popular.  And, collectors are gladly overpaying for harder to find vintage toys these days.  Personally, I'd never pay anywhere near that for this cycle.  But, I have the luxury of having both one from childhood and one from a pre-insanity priced adult collector purchase.  So, that certainly colors my view of the current pricing.  Having the toy as a kid certainly has left this item as a vehicle that I'm glad to have...just for the nostalgia.  Without that, it's value would be limited to me.