2020 "Retro" Hiss Tank

Back in April, I looked at the "Retro" Bespin Luke Skywalker.  This figure fits the retro moniker because it's in the exact style of vintage Kenner Star Wars figures and, to the untrained eye, is a near exact copy from a figure created 40 years earlier.  At the time, I mentioned that G.I. Joe would also see a retro series of figures this year.  Lo and behold, those figures dropped.  And, if you had any glimmer of hope that they would be vintage Joes, you were sorely disappointed to find the releases nothing more than anniversary style rehashes from recent years.  So, that made the figures an easy skip for me.  But, there was a catch.  Hasbro also dropped two vehicles in the assortment.  The Joe vehicle, an AWE Striker is an easy skip.  Vintage AWE Strikers are a dime a dozen.  The mold was then repainted ad naseum in the 2000's.  And, in 2008, Hasbro modded the vehicle for anniversary figures.  I bought that version because it was cheap.  The other vehicle released for 2020, though, was a Hiss Tank.  While I really don't need another Hiss Tank that's actually more expensive than loose, vintage Hiss Tanks, I also decided that getting a crisp vehicle was kind of worth it.  Especially since I'll be able to sell the Driver in a year or two for at least half, and maybe the full retail price of the tank.  But, for now, I have my first new Hiss at retail since 2004.

The calling card of the Retro collection is the packaging.  This is odd, though, as the figures have only vintage style cardbacks.  The massive bubbles help to visually separate them from anything resembling real vintage Joes.  The vehicles, though, are complete throwbacks.  You get the standard, vintage box art.  The back shows the toy and has the Driver's file card.  While not an exact replica of the 1983 tank's packaging, this 2020 rendition is close enough and will scratch any itch a pent up adult has in regards to re-living their childhood for the few minutes it takes to buy the toy and put it together.

This Hiss is not the vintage Hiss Tank.  During the anniversary era, Hasbro either modded the existing Hiss Tank mold, or created a new one.  This is the mold used by this 2020 release.  It is problematic for vintage Joe collectors since the foot pegs are too small for vintage figures and the cockpit has been modified to fit anniversary figures with their weird proportions.  The upside, though, is the vintage figures still fit into the cockpit.  So, that helps keep this tank useful for those of us who refuse to move on from Joe's classic designs.  The lack of useful footpegs is annoying.  But, I always used my Hiss Tanks as weapons with just the driver and gunner.  They were rarely employed in moving troops around.  Plus, vintage Hiss tanks are cheap enough if you want to place some classic Cobras in a small display.

In 1999 and 2000, I wanted an army of Hiss Tanks.  There were some grainy Polaroids of big collections online at the time and seeing four or five Hiss Tanks (a HUGE collection at the time!) together was enticing.  Slowly, I picked up a few and got a small army together.  Then, in late 2000, came the announcement that the Hiss would be returning to retail as the Hiss III.  Priced at $10.00 with a figure, this was a deal.  I planned to buy several.  I found them at my local store in early 2001 and bought...one.  Once in hand, my excitement over more Hiss Tanks faded.  Sure, they're awesome.  But, after a couple, the returns diminish.  And, as the vehicle has been released in various forms since then, you can get a nice Hiss army without even repeating a release.

I got my first Hiss Tank for Christmas in 1983.  Nearly 37 years later, I'm able to buy another one at retail.  I'm not sure if that's great or kind of sad.  Not seeing Joe vehicles really progress for nearly four decades isn't a great look for the Hasbro design teams.  (Though, there are a couple of really nice DTC era vehicles that command premium prices today.)  Personally, I'd have far preferred a new Hiss II just because that mold is less common and has more potential.  Way back in the early days of online Joedom, someone made mention that for all we knew, some new item with a vague description in a retailers inventory system was a 1988 Warthog repainted and renamed as a new Hiss version.  I would not hate that and would probably buy a couple.  All of which is a roundabout way of saying that Hasbro could expand Cobra's armor divisions if they wanted to.  But, for now, the "retro" theme probably limits them in some capacity to truly explore.

Which brings to this vehicle itself.  Really, it's just the same Hiss we've seen multiple times.  It's all black, has a clear canopy and stickers.  There's nothing to really distinguish it from a 1983 Hiss if you're looking at a display from afar.  Aside from the foot peg changes and cockpit update, nothing about the Hiss has changed.  That familiarity is good and is exactly what Hasbro was going for in this release.  While vintage collectors didn't get much in the way of color diversity with Hiss releases, the anniversary line did produce some new Hiss colors.  I would not at all mind a few repaints of this vehicle.  As I do think that a desert Hiss and another arctic Hiss would have some demand.  But, an all black rehash of the classic is what collectors seemed to want and the quick sell outs around the country indicate that we're speaking with our wallets and should expect more rehashes instead of anything that deviates from a reproduction of an existing design.

In the 2000's timeline, vehicles came pre-assembled.  Most of this was a function of the window box packaging that was the marketing gimmick of that time.  Parents would know exactly what they were buying and no assembly was required.  You still see this today on many toys that don't have a collector influence.  This 2020 Hiss, though, came unassembled in the box.  While the tank only has a few parts (two treads, two wheels, tow hook, body, canopy and gun turret) it was still nice to put a Hiss together again.  The gun turret, though, did come pre-assembled.  So, there was less delicate work to be done on that front.  One of the joys of vintage Joes was taking all the parts out and putting them together into a cool toy.  That was fun to do...even if it's a one time thing.  And, now that my Hiss is assembled, it's not coming apart again.

One thing I noticed about the Hiss as I took it out of the box and put it together was show crisp and shiny and clean all the parts were.  Nearly four decades of grime, dust and oils take their toll on even nicely maintained vintage Hiss Tanks.  So, seeing one pop out of the package was nice.  You'll note in my photos that I'm missing many stickers on the Tank.  I'm not a big sticker guy.  Even as a kid, I rarely put on any more than the bare minimum of stickers.  In most cases, I felt they were either overkill or could limit some far flung adventure I had in the back of my mind.  At some point, I may add on some additional Cobra logos or the 788 banner.  But, for now, I'm keeping the tank relatively sleek and unadorned with superfluous sticker application.

The Hiss Tank includes a driver.  Based on the classic 1983 Hiss Driver, the figure is in anniversary style.  This means that all the limitations of those figures that were present in 2007 and still present in 2016 have been carried over to these 2020 figures.  If you like anniversary figures, then this guy won't bother you.  He'll sit in a box for me until it's time to trade or sell him.  I expect I'll be able to trade him for one or two of the Black Major Hiss Driver repaints that are planned to drop in 2021.  So, the figure has value to me for that reason alone.  He hearkens back to the original Hiss Driver, though, and that helps maintain the "retro" aesthetic.

The Hiss Tanks first hit retail in early fall of 2020.  At first, they were hard to find.  And, as Wal Mart cancelled online orders, collectors feared that the Hiss Tanks would go the way of the Target Cobra Troopers and sell for seven or eight times retail on Ebay.  And, for a while, the tanks got a huge aftermarket markup.  Slowly, though, more stock hit.  These were quickly cleared out by fly by night scalpers looking to make a quick buck.  But, in the final week or two of October 2020, Hiss Tanks saturated the market.  Collectors reported finding 20 or more stocked at a time.  And, aftermarket prices plummeted.  As of this writing, it's actually harder to find AWE Strikers in the store than it is Hiss Tanks.  If you want a Hiss, buy it now as many collectors have access to extras that they'll pass to you for cost and shipping.

Maybe Wal Mart ordered more of the Cobra army builder.  We don't really know.  But, it's also likely that once this mass stocking is over, Hiss Tanks will get scarce again.  And, it's entirely possible that by early 2021, frustrated collectors will be overpaying for these items once again.  One thing we've seen with collector targeted vehicle releases in both Star Wars and G.I. Joe is that they tend to perform better on the aftermarket than even figures.  Everyone can find room for one more figure.  But, finding room for vehicles and playsets is harder.  So, you see more people skip those entirely, or just buy the one they want for their collection with none to stash for future trades.  At $25, this thing has gotten substantially more expensive in recent years.  But, stores charge those prices because they know collectors will pay it.  And, we are.  So, retail's gauge on our price tolerance is spot on.  Gone are the days of Hasbro selling toys for cheap.  There is a "collector tax" on items like this Hiss that reap big profits for Hasbro and Wal Mart.  And, we're all too eager to pay it if it means classic toys recycled for another retail go around.

On some level, I hope that the retro vehicles continue.  While I dearly miss vintage Joe figures, I also resigned myself back in 2010 that I'd never see them at retail again.  But, having a chance at some vehicles is nice.  And, while I'll probably skip a Skystriker, I won't let any Rattler repaint or new Tomahawk pass me by again.  We know there is at least one more item coming...a new FANG.  It's not enough to excite me.  But, it's a good bet there's a Joe vehicle to accompany it.  If it's a Skyhawk, I might buy one.  If it's another Armadillo, though, I'll let that collect dust at my local store.  I wish the first two entries to this line had been more imaginative than the AWE Striker and Hiss Tank.  But, everything starts somewhere.  And, while I have no expectations for the long term potential of this line, I'll also take advantage of items like this Hiss that give me a less brittle and newer made item to round out my photos.

2009 Agent Helix - by Past Nastification

With the 2009 release of The Rise of Cobra, Hasbro pumped out many, many figures.

I’m just assuming that most of you didn’t like the movie.  If you did, that’s okay.  It just makes it easier for you to embrace its toy line, I’d assume.  The ROC toy line stayed with the 25th Anniversary/Modern Era format, but felt like a unique subset within the GI Joe brand.  But for me, at least, I try to look at the ROC figures as their own things and just ignore the movie that spawned them.     

Many of figures were inherently good, like most of the Baroness figures, which visually lined up other existing versions of the character. 

Some were them were good if you could imagine they existed outside of the movie’s continuity, like The Doctor as being a not-Cobra Commander character.

Then there were figures dropped into the ROC toy line whose characters weren’t even in the movie, but didn’t exist anywhere previously. Agent Helix is one of these figures/characters.

Agent Helix has a look that reads “techno saboteur” more than soldier.  Given that the title “Agent” is part of the character’s name, this is obviously what Hasbro was aiming for. 

The sculptor(s) did some top notch work on the figure.  The head features an attractive if slightly long face with a neutral expression.  The hair is a separate piece in what’s probably best described as a “Rachel from Friends” layered haircut.  It’s further accentuated by a two-tone color scheme, obviously mimicking the unnatural color-streaking fad of a decade ago.  The face and the hair are nicely done and infuse the figure with a lot of its charm.   

The uniform is not quite a bodysuit, but very tight shirt/pants over a lanky frame. It features a harness/body armor system that manages to provide protection to the abdomen, but leaves the upper torso completely exposed, which looks interesting at first but becomes ridiculous when you realize it’s very bondage-like.

“But the Baroness-”  Stop.  Don’t say it, because I am aware of the Baroness’ outfit.  But its armor plating appears to cover the entire torso, and even pops up on other parts of the body.  Agent Helix just wears a bulletproof girdle.   And besides, I’m always okay with Cobra designs being a bit sillier than Joe ones. 

Bondage harness aside, this is a good design.  The mustard yellow on the upper portion of the shirt gives a color pop against the otherwise dark and cold colors of uniform.  The silver of the pouches (or whatever they are) adds another slice of visual interest.  It looks clean in an antiseptic way that doesn’t contrast with the other colors, and even works with them.

There are plenty of great details on the figure.  The overall sculpting is top notch, as it was on most of the ROC figures.  There’s a techno-kibble device on the figure’s right upper arm.  The floating utility belt allows for the pouches to dangle over the hips.  The compression-style kneepads are perfect.  The sleeves are three-quarters length, like some sports jerseys.  The long boots have side pouches.  These are all little details that show that someone put effort into making this figure.   

Agent Helix’s gear is plentiful, though largely unnecessary.   The futuristic rifle and two sidearms would have been enough, but the figure also has the obligatory oversized missile launcher (that looks like at best like a Nerf toy and not a representation of anything close to real world), and even a machete.  Everything is nicely colored, which is better than neon green or safety orange, so there’s that.  And any accessories you don’t want to display with the figure can go into a baggie, tray, or parts bin.   Or even a trashcan if you’re like that. 

Had this character been introduced into the GI Joe mythos by ARAH format when I was a kid, I’m sure it would have been a welcomed addition. 

Time for a side rant.

Even 37 years since 1:18 scale GI Joe began, there are only about 30 different female characters that have one or multiple figures, and that’s including exclusive GI Joe Collectors’ Club figures.  This number is based on characters, not total figures.  So although there may are many multiple versions of Scarlett, the Baroness, and Lady Jaye in different formats, that still only adds up to 3 characters.  My point is that we’ve gotten less than one new female character per year on average.  Collectors even appreciate head-to-toe repaints representing new characters, like ARAH Jinx as Vypra or later as the swordsmith Araskikage sisters (also stupidly named Vypra), or ARAH Baroness as Chameleon.

Thanks, I feel better.   

A totally new figure/character, especially one done so well, is greatly valued.  Agent Helix might be the most important character to come out of the ROC toy line.  Just don’t think about the bulletproof girdle. 

2011 Polar Sharc and Ice Storm - By Past Nastification

GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra was such a horrible movie.  So horrible that it had sinking ice in it.  As in literal chunks of ice that were heavier than the water around them and the sunk towards the bottom of the ocean.  That bad. I saw a screening of it opening night across the street from the Wizard World convention in Chicago in 2009. About 4 minutes into the movie I realized that the movie I had waited 27 years to see wasn’t what I was going to be seen that evening.

Even got the extra fancy seats, too.  Such a waste.   

At least the movie provided collectors with a GI Joe toy line.  That toy line was a mixed bag.  The Polar Sharc is a perfect example of it. 

The Polar Sharc is a forgettable and undersized vehicle that looks like it drifted into the wrong packaging from a Star Wars line.  But the driver, Ice Storm, is a great if unnoticed figure. 

The Polar Sharc did appear in the movie, in the scene with the sinking ice, and even looked like the toy but larger.  The design doesn’t look like it belongs in any GI Joe landscape.  Not in the standard toyline, not in any of the comic books continuities or cartoon continuities.  We’ll put that on the film studio and not Hasbro.  Hasbro even did a good job of translating it into a toy.

It’s worth pointing out that the Polar Sharc’s release was delayed and it was hard to come by.  This is probably why there isn’t much like or dislike for it or Ice Storm.  I never saw it in Ross stores, and had even kept an eye out for it. 

More aquadynamic in overall form than the 1984 Sharc, the Polar Sharc has lots of crisp details.  In fact, if you love rivets, then this will be your favorite GI Joe vehicle ever.  It has hundreds of sculpted rivets across its hull.  The cockpit appears to be a padded mattress-style strip with no definitive head/foot areas, so a driver can be placed one of two ways:  on its back looking out the casket-style hatch, or placed belly-down with its face looking out the underside nose porthole, an obvious callback to the 1984 Sharc.  The cockpit/interior is nicely done, with lots of knobs and buttons, exposed control lines, and wiring.   There’s a removable torpedo-launching weapon on the underside.  The underside also sports a backpack peg for a figure, another 1984 Sharc callback. 

The more I look at the Polar Sharc, the more I should like it.  But I don’t.  It looks too much like something Obi-Wan Kenobi might have used on an adventure.   

Ice Storm, by contrast, is a figure I shouldn’t like, but I do. 

Ice Storm didn’t specifically appear in the film, although the Sharc did.  The 25A line provided us with at least three different versions of Deep Six, so I didn’t mind the creation of a new character at all.  The 2011 convention exclusive of this character (although a different figure with a different file name in technically a different continuity) backfills his story.  Now a sailor, he had originally been in the Coast Guard first, adding some complexity to his character.  I guess Cutter is destined to be the only dedicated Coast Guard member on the team? 

The figure is made of recycled 25A parts topped with a new head, and the body parts aren’t even that spectacular.  It looks nothing like a driver for the Polar Sharc should look.  Since I easily mentally separate this figure from the vehicle, that’s not an issue.  Ice Storm looks like a cold weather rescue specialist, and might even be wearing a drysuit under the cold weather uniform. 

The headsculpt is ridiculously awesome.  Ice Storm wears a textured knit cap pulled down low over the ears and eyebrows.  Although the face is sculpted, much of it hidden by the high jacket collar.  We only see Ice Storm’s face from the eye line to the mouth, giving a sense of seclusion and mystery, with dashes of introversion and sullenness.  This is my favorite ROC action figure.  Unlike existing characters that had to be “interpreted” into the ROC continuity, Ice Storm was a blank slate who didn’t get weird for no reason (I’m looking at the sculpted lips on your mask, Snake-Eyes).  In fairness, other interpretations in ROC were actually pretty solid ideas, like Storm Shadow wearing a white suit.     

The Polar Sharc and Ice Storm are both highly detailed and well sculpted.  The Polar Sharc fails because it’s a bad design at its core that no amount of craftsmanship could save, like the sinking ice in the movie.  It could never look good because it was a bad idea.  Ice Storm succeeds because the character was unique and fresh to the GI Joe mythos, plus it also felt like it shouldn’t even exist within the ROC continuity.  Always a plus.       

2012 Retaliation Night Fox

After stumbling onto a 2012 Clutch figure, I embraced the low points of articulation (poa) Retaliation vehicle drivers.  Yes, it is Hasbro cutting corners to make an official GI Joe product.  But the sculpting impressed me so much I begrudgingly approved and went on to acquire a Night Fox.    The format, though cheap, has its appeal. 

Night Fox was included with the Ninja Combat Cruiser as its driver.  As that vehicle was a reworking of the VAMP, Clutch might have been a more appropriate driver.  Clutch may have actually appeared in Retaliation as the driver of the Tread Ripper.  However, my retinas can’t handle another viewing of that stankfest (and I’ve only seen it once), so there won’t be “research” to find out.

The Ninja Combat Cruiser merits its own review.  Mini-review:  surprisingly fun!

Night Fox first appeared in 2010 as the driver of the AWE Striker.  That figure and this version of Night Fox share a flaw.  The head is obscured by a mask.  I’ve gone on this rant before:  good guys (other than Snake-Eyes) should have visible heads.  Or at least ones with removable helmets or exposable faces.  ARAH Fastdraw works because the flip-up visor revealing his mug.  25A Beachhead works because there’s an alternate pop-on head.  And unlike the 2010 Night Fox, this one’s eyes are entirely obscured by goggles.

Speaking of obscured heads and the Retaliation driver figures, there’s also the Duke figure included with the Ghost Hawk II.  In my review of Clutch, I failed to list that as one of the low-poa Retaliation figures. 

In my Retaliation Clutch review I said I’d be fine with low poa Cobra Troopers as freebie pack-ins with vehicles or playsets.  This Night Fox would be the figure to use.  The head is realistically sculpted, but it doesn’t register as a specific Joe because it’s far too anonymous.  Mold the figure in Cobra blue, mold the vest in black, throw red on the mask and you’ve got an inexpensive Cobra Trooper.

Much like the original Night Fox, this one is calling out for a customized head swap.  Hasbro has given us alternate pop-on heads before.  Given that Hasbro already saved a buck by reducing the articulation, an extra unmasked head would’ve been a generous and appreciated move. 

The head is one of the few heads in the entire GI Joe run, ARAH through Modern Era, that has no paint applications.  It’s solid black.  Aside from a few Snake-Eyes (it seems like at least one NS Snake-Eyes was solid black in addition to the first ARAH one), the “hologram” Comic Pack Cobra Commander, and the clear GI Joe Collector’s Club Zartan, it’s very rare for a Joe figure to have zero paint applications on its head.

Like Retaliation Clutch, the sculpting on Night Fox is fantastic, assuming you can accept that it’s low poa.  The bend in the arms and at the knees, along with the outwardly angled feet, give Night Fox a fluid stance.  The uniform is crumpled and baggy.  The pouches on the vest are crisp and detailed, including one that’s marked as being a first aid pouch.  There’s even sculpted “extra” thigh strap material that lies drooping.  The arms are prepositioned to hold a rifle Palitoy Action Force style.  Which also means that Night Fox is also an unsafe, one-handed driver.  No “ten and two” hand positioning on the steering wheel for him.  Unlike his fellow Retaliation driver figure Clutch, Low Light has arms that are long enough for his proportions.   

The figure itself is molded in black, with only a dab of light khaki on the back of the neck.  This is only there to complete the illusion that the backpack runs across the shoulders.  The vest is dark khaki with some details popped out with light khaki paint.  I’ve read and seen complaints about the lack of paint applications on the body.  However, the figure’s codename does include the word “night” in it, so all-black isn’t unreasonable.

Please note that the action figure’s plastic is a bit darker than these images, which have been adjusted somewhat in Photoshop to show the detail.  Otherwise the figure would look like a solid black shape.

Night Fox’s accessories include a rifle and the removable vest.  This particular figure is missing its rifle, so I’ve substituted a Demro Wasp from Beachhead.  The vest is removable, but it’s not interchangeable with other figures because it’s keyed specifically for the Night Fox torso.  Odd, but it looks good on the figure.  The figure looks deformed without it, so going “vestless” isn’t an option. 

If you can accept low-poa figures, you’ll probably enjoy this figure.  If you can’t, it’s understandable.  Hasbro should be ashamed.  I’m just forgiving.

2008 Cobra Hostile Environment Trooper By Past Nastification

Included as part of the Extreme Conditions:  Desert Assault Squad set, the Cobra Hostile Environment Trooper took the Flash/Grand Slam body and topped it with the Cobra Officer Gas Mask helmet.  The helmet appears to be a reworking of the ARAH head of the Comic Pack set, which was turned into a removable helmet.  It was also released in Cobra Blue for use as the Cobra Air Trooper.   

At a first glance, this is a great figure.  The helmet alone pretty much would make any figure look great.

The color set used for this figure are perfect for a Cobra trooper.  A creamy tan for the uniform, with black boots and gloves, plus brown padding (in some indoor light the padding looks more burgundy- or maybe I just really really want it to). 

But at second glance reveals problems.  In 2008, when almost everyone was going crazy for the new 25A body style, its flaws were overlooked.  Those hands.  Those teeny tiny hands manage to screw up the proportions for the rest of the figure.  And then there’s the upper torso articulation point.  I’ve never liked these, but I can live with them when they’re hidden.  This body is frustrating because had the chest padding been removable, like many of the other webgear sets of the time, the upper torso articulation point would be largely hidden.   As it is, a streak of tan slices through the chest padding.  It’s visually disruptive.

But the bigger problem is that this is a Grand Slam/Flash body.  Color it however you like and top it with that amazing helmet… it’s still a Grand Slam/Flash body, which means it looks like Grand Slam or Flash.  Much too iconic to identify as a Cobra trooper, especially when kept complete.  Maybe mixing in different arms or legs would have offset the source body.  There were several 25A bodies that would have been passable without looking like Grand Slam/Flash clones at this point in the line. 

A silver Cobra biohazard logo is printed on the upper portion of the chest pad, but as good as it is, it can’t compete with the very intricate grid pattern already sculpted onto the padding.  The logo gets lost.  Despite its precision, it looks like a glop of silver.

As far as being biohazard-ready, this outfit doesn’t look like the highest level personal protective gear outfit.  It’s the “get you by until the Toxo-Vipers arrive” level.  For Cobra, this feels about right, so it’s okay.   

The head (under the helmet) is the 25A Cobra Trooper head, with tan hair painted on what was originally a bald scalp.  I don’t really have an issue with this because some people keep their heads nearly shaved, but other collectors find it a sticking point.  It probably should bother me, it just doesn’t.     

In addition to the helmet, the Cobra Hostile Environment Trooper comes with a Demro Wasp rifle (Beachhead’s rifle), a standard Cobra helmet, and Barbecue’s backpack w/hose and nozzle (this was before a modern era Airtight had been created, so his gear didn’t exist to utilize).

The fantastic helmet isn’t quite enough to make this a fantastic figure.     

2012 Retaliation Clutch - By Past Nastification

The two live action GI Joe movies haven’t scratched the itch Joe fans wanted. They’ve provided a mixed bag of figures, too.  Some good, some bad.  Clutch, from GI Joe:  Retalition, was released as the driver of the Tread Ripper.  The Tread Ripper itself is another conversation and probably not a good one.

The low articulation of Clutch is problematic.   

When GI Joe debuted in ARAH format in 1982, the figures had an astounding 12 points of articulation compared to Star Wars, whose standard figures had just 5 poa’s.  Some Star Wars figures had even fewer.  For Joe figures the number jumped up to 14 with the inclusion of the “swivel arm battle grip” in 1983. Certainly Mego never gets the credit it deserves for bringing the o-ring(ish) design into the mainstream by licensing/selling Micronauts, or streamlining the concept for its the Black Hole, Buck Rogers, or CHIPs lines.

So GI Joe is somewhat erroneously credited, or at least remembered, as being the innovator.  And, yes, there’s the fact that the 1:18 scale Micronaut figures were conceptual downscales in Japan based on the original American 12 inch Joes… which were arguably based on the Barbie concept.  There are several episodes of Toy Galaxy on youtube or The Toys that Made Us on Netflix to see how many layers there are to the action figure onion.  It gets complicated very fast, with lots of cross-pollination and borrowing from one company/toy line to another.

All of which is a long way of explaining that most Joe collectors can’t stand Joe figures with low articulation.  Taking away the high poa count is depriving them of their design identity.  I agree in theory, but in reality… somehow I don’t care.  Maybe my appreciation of the early low poa Palitoy Action Force figures bleeds over to this figure.  That said, for the 1:18 scale, the inclusion of hinged knees should be a given.  Even Kenner’s MASK figures had that in the mid 80’s, and they were 2 inch figures.   

As a kid, I would have hated, hated, hated this Clutch.  As a grownup, though, I’m fine with it and the limited 5 poa format.  At this point in my collecting, sculpt is more important to me than articulation.

Clutch is so beautifully sculpted that the lack of articulation just doesn’t bother me.  Of course, that’s me, and I guess that 95% of Joe collector’s hate this figure.  It’s a point I really can’t argue.  For the handful of us that are immune to the low poa count that flies against everything that GI Joe is from a design standpoint, it’s easy to see the nice work in this figure.

It’s not perfect, and that’s assuming you can live with a five poa figure.  The arms are marginally short, but mostly hidden by the bent elbows.   As far as this figure automatically registering as being Clutch, it doesn’t. It should have a black beard or grey stubble to really be Clutch.

But this is the movie universe Clutch, so it is what it is.  But the detailing on the head alone is astounding.  The crisp baseball cap, the beard, and the up-to-the-minute sunglasses are flawlessly sculpted.  Customizers may hate the rest of this figure, but they love this head.

The uniform looks realistic.  Clutch sports a ton of sculpted pouches and webgear, including a pistol and a knife (both of which should have been painted black like the sunglasses).  The sculpting on the pouches is impressive because it’s so lifelike.  The pouches aren’t in perfect rows; each pouch is slightly canted and crooked compared to its neighboring pouches.  This is a detail that could have been easily overdone, but it wasn’t.  The bent elbows and slightly bent knees give the figure a dynamic posture that old Star Wars figures never had.  Plus, the sculpted detail would have been broken up by adding more articulation points.

The figure’s construction is peculiar.  It appears to be put together like a standard 5 poa figure (but with a pop-off head).  The backpack and most of the webgear appear to be a snapped-in-place piece on a carved-out section of the torso.   Oddly, the Night Fox figure, also a low poa Retaliation driver, features a removable vest, but it’s uniquely keyed to the figure.  So why was Clutch designed in such a unique manner?  Who knows. 

The use of subdued colors is a welcomed change from obnoxious coloring.  Honestly, though, an unexpected and nonsensical color pop somewhere might have added to the design.  A lone orange pouch or a yellow grenade could have worked here.   

Maybe it’s just the sunglasses, but this Clutch has a badass quality that no previous Clutch figures have had.  The pistol might not be removable, but it has no less that 6 pouched magazines ready to go for it.  At the 1:18 scale, I prefer non-functioning holsters as they look more correctly sized. 

There were several other 5 poa figures in the Retaliation line.  This included the previously mentioned Night Fox, a Snake-Eyes, a Cobra Commander, and a Swamp Viper.  I was surprised by how much I liked the Clutch figure, so I’ll have to keep an eye out for the rest out and see if they also have outstanding sculpting.  I stumbled onto this Clutch figure recently and until I saw it in person I was lackluster about it.   

If the low poa count is a deal breaker for you, I completely understand and respect it.  But if you’re someone who can accept it, this is an impressive figure.  If you need a nudge, here’s an image of the head swapped out with a “real” Clutch head, from the 25A line.  If nothing else, just try to appreciate the sculpting on this odd duck from the Retaliation line.

I’m curious, am I alone in liking this figure?  Does anyone else like it or the other Retaliation drivers?

Would anyone really object if Hasbro would have made mostly pre-posed/low poa Cobra Soldiers in this format and packed them in as freebies with vehicles and playsets?  No.  Well, at least I wouldn’t! 

2008 Cobra Commander - San Diego Comic Convention Exclusive

To me, the character of Cobra Commander is the catalyst for the entire Joe line. Without him, G.I. Joe was just another bunch of green army guys. Once Cobra was introduced, there was a dichotomy in the line. There were clear cut lines between good and evil and the Joes now had a foil against which they could develop their characters. The Commander himself was always fascinating to me. He was a self made man who, by all accounts, was able to make incredible sums of money. Yet, this greed was motivated more by a need for power rather than a desire to be rich. Money bought power: not satisfaction. Yet, the character was deeply flawed. For a man who seemed to hate the U.S. and all its capitalist society represented, the Commander was quick to use that system to make himself fabulously wealthy. As such, you still have a contradiction in the Commander's character. It is small, but still there and a part of the character that was not fully explored. Over the years, we've seen many Cobra Commander versions. Most are variations on the similar theme of his standard look. This exclusive suited Cobra Commander is no different. It is the same hooded villain only this time, in a suit. Nothing really earth-shattering. But, there is something about the image that this figure evokes that makes this figure stand out in the sea of sameness that is the Commander. Thus, it is worthy of another look.

The early days of Cobra were heavily influenced by Nazi-esque imagery. In the first issue of the comic, the troopers were heavily blonde haired and saluted the Commander in a style similar to the Nazis. The army carried large golden banners in front of it. It was a way to evoke the true level of Cobra's evil. This figure plays right into that image. First, the exclusive podium follows the pattern of a persuasive dictator. Secondly, the suit the figure is wearing was actually designed for the Toht figure in the Indiana Jones line. As such, it was designed after a Nazi character. The combination is a look that hearkens Cobra back to its roots. This isn't the Cobra commander who wore an armored suit and used giant robots to kill his resurrected from the dead and brainwashed enemies. This is the Cobra Commander who went town to town, speaking at rallies, selling vitamins and built a loyal following of disillusioned youth and working class who needed someone to believe in. It is the charismatic leader who took over a town under the noses of the government and was able to build a military that was able to stand toe to toe with the elite units of the American (and other nations') army.

Love them or hate them, exclusives are part of the modern toy collecting experience. However, their handling is always open to scrutiny. In this case of this figure (and, the gold headed Pimp Daddy Destro from 2007) the handling of the exclusive is nothing more than a slap in the face to long term Joe fans who largely supported this hobby during the slow years. Just a few weeks prior to this figure's release, Joe fans were asked to attend the G.I. Joe convention in Texas. At that time, they had no opportunity to acquire this figure. It was saved for the San Diego Comic Convention. So, this means that hard core Joe fans were basically told by Hasbro that they either had to attend both conventions, skip the Joe con for the SDCC or miss the SDCC and pay ~$150 for 2 exclusive figures. As such, hard core Joe fans are punished by Hasbro for being unable or unwilling to attend two conventions that are in close date proximity to one another. Now, I'm not saying that the SDCC shouldn't have its own Joe exclusive. But, I do think that at least those who attended the Joe convention should have had the opportunity to pre-order these figures from Hasbro at the Joe con so their loyalty to the brand was rewarded and they wouldn't have to buy from the aftermarket speculators who make up so much of the SDCC crowd.

This figure is not actually a Joe figure in terms of construction. The figure uses the body from Toht from the Indiana Jones line of toys. This means that the figure has totally different construction from any other Joe figure. It features the standard ball joints on the limbs but is missing the horrid chest joint that ruins the aesthetics of most anniversary style figures. Due to the body construction, the figure is also more in scale with ARAH style or JvC style Joes and not the taller anniversary figures. As such, this is a figure with more versatility than if it was made in any of the other, distinctive styles of Joe construction. Plus, as this figure is pretty much meant to stand behind a podium, the lack of articulation isn't that big of an issue. As such, for an exclusive, this figure is acceptable. As a retail item, though, this figure would have been horrible. It's not really classifiable as any of the existing styles of Joe figures so it really is somewhat of a bastard step-child in the Joe world. But, the look is distinctive enough that most collectors could find a home for the figure in their collections.

There are two versions of this figure: this black suit and a blue suit with khaki pants version. The blue version was produced in much lower quantities and will be the more desirable figure down the road. Historically, the "variant" figure runs about 3 to 4 times more in terms of pricing than the "common" version. That trend will likely continue with this figure and you can expect to pay a substantial sum to acquire the blue suit version of this figure. The upside is that it's unlikely these figures will ever be re-released. The downside, though, is that Hasbro could, at some point, reuse the exclusive podium accessory and package it with a real anniversary style figure that features Cobra Commander in a similar outfit. At that point, this figure's exclusivity will no longer be relevant. But, that's the chance you take when you buy expensive modern figures in a line that is still active at retail.

The real highlight of this figure is the card art. The exclusive view of the Commander at his podium invokes the imagery of Cobra from the earliest days of the organization. To me, this is the most significant Cobra...before it was bogged down in superfluous characters, sci-fi plots and ninja overload. It is the Cobra of the Commander and his blueshirts. The cardback plays up the Commander's origins and is a nice addition to the figure's overall presentation. Personally, I found the value of this figure to be tied heavily to his complete packaging. Once removed, the figure's significance is somewhat diminished. But, it would still be nice to have CC standing at this podium in front of my loose Cobra army.

This figure's availability comes in two parts. Prior to the movie, the figure will be highly sought after and will likely top out in the $50 range once Hasbro filters out all the remaining overstock. Long term, though, I think this figure's appeal will diminish. Exclusives are always hottest right after their release. In time, they are forgotten as interest in a property wanes. As such, I think that in two or three years, you will be able to get these figures in the $20 range with relative ease. If you look at the history of exclusives, though, they can go both ways. Some have remained popular and expensive even though their toy lines have been long dead at retail. Others (most notably, Star Wars) have largely become clearance fodder and many of the exclusives are now available for below their original asking price. As for this figure, the reality is that since he's a hybrid of 2 lines, he isn't really an Anniversary style figure and he will be hard to place into collections as anything other than the display piece he was meant to be. That will limit his long term appeal. However, the distinctive card art and the display nature of the figure will also keep some interest in the design. (Though, Hasbro isn't known for making exclusive accessories for a limited run item so I'd say it's inevitable that we will see the podium packaged with another Cobra Commander figure at some point in the future.) Long term, this figure will probably settle into the $20 range. But, it will be a few years before it declines to that point. If you're willing to wait, I would do so as this is a figure that will likely be somewhat expensive in the short term.

2007 Cobra Air Trooper

OK. I will admit it. I'm not a fan of the 25th Anniversary Joe figures. I've had no interest in them from the beginning. Not because they were, necissarily, bad toys. But, I am an ARAH Joe purist at heart. I have over 2000 ARAH style Joes in my collection. I do not find either the JvC style figures from 2002-2006 nor the 25th Anniversary style figures to be compatible with those originals. As such, I have no interest in starting what is, to me, an entirely new toy line. I have enough to do with ARAH style Joes.

That being said, I also thought that Hasbro's strategy of redoing the line with a more modern action figure was sound. I still don't think the line will last 18 months, but that has nothing to do with the quality of the toys and everything to do with the state of the marketplace for military toys. Largely, though, I simply avoided most discussions regarding the 25th Anniversary figures. When pictures of them first surfaced, I was underwhelmed. The figures looked OK, but they simply didn't wow me the way something that had 25 years of toy making advances should have. There were neat features to the figures. But, to me, they still looked far too animated and caricaturish for me to be interested. Still, they held some appeal as they took many of the complaints that collectors had about the most recent figures and worked to address them in some way.

As the figures began to appear in stores, I took a look at them. I will admit feeling a bit of nostalgia when I first saw the carded Wave 1 figures hanging on the pegs. Seeing the card art brought back memories. I picked up a Flint figure and thought about buying it as I'm a big fan of the character. But, after I looked at it, I still thought the head looked goofy, the obvious chest joint was too pronounced and that the figure was, overall, too gangly. Plus, I couldn't get past the fact that Hasbro edited out Flint's classic shotgun and replaced it with the inferior "modern" version that matched the toy. When Wave 2 made it out, I saw the Beach Head figure and was impressed by the level of detail in his accessories. But, the figure still did nothing for me. Finally, today, I broke down and purchased the Cobra Legions 5 pack of figures. Now, to be fair, I did this to sell off the army builders. But, the result was the first 25th Anniversary style figures that I've opened.

My first impressions of the figures in hand were dead on with my expectations from photos. Visually, they have their appeal. But, overall, they are still not Joes to me. The Cobra Air Trooper has one benefit that many Joes do not: his chest is covered with web gear that disguise the horrid chest joint. Granted, I know this allows for greater posability. But, to me, the added articulation is not enough to make up for the aesthetic crime that the joint poses. Supposedly, this is something that will be looked at in later waves. Plus, it is really only an issue on certain figure. On some figures, it can be disguised by web gear or simple figure design (like the armor joints on the Super Articulated Clone Trooper that features a similar chest joint) but, it still poses a problem for me on many of the figures I've seen.

As for the figure at hand: the Cobra Air Trooper, he is nicely designed. He features a blue Cobra jet pack and gun that is obviously based on the original JUMP. The pack has painted highlights and features a prominenty Cobra sigil on the back. The back peg has been modified to fit the new style of figures, so the accessory is useless for any vintage figures. The figure also features a removable helmet that is identical to the head used for the Gas Mask Troopers in 2006. It is so well done that I didn't know it was removable until I found the spare Cobra Trooper hat that was hidden in the battle stand packet underneath the packaging. So, this figure can be the Air Trooper or you can change his helmet, hang up the jetpack and you have a full fledged Cobra Trooper that is very similar to the standard Trooper included in the set. So, that's a bonus for army builders. (See the comparison photo at the bottom of the page.)

This figure is nicely accessoried with the web gear, knife, flight helmet, jet pack, hose, jet pack gun, standard battle helmet, standard rifle and figure stand. Frankly, that's a ton of stuff for a $5 figure. Plus, the accessories make sense. That alone was my single greatest gripe regarding the ARAH re-releases of the past few years. The accessories were not only poor, they didn't fit the figures with whom they were released. Not so, with the 25th figures. In fact, every figure in the 5 pack features accessories that fit the figure in both the modern and historical senses. That's huge progress right there and one of the things that shows that Hasbro finally did their homework on a Joe line. These accessories are all new and well done. The rifle is heads and shoulders above much of the new sculpt weapons released between 2002 and 2006. It harkens back to the vintage line in terms of quality.

As for the figure itself, it isn't bad. Aside from the chest joint, I've had issues trying to get the figure to hold his gun in any pose that isn't awkward. The design of the hands and arms just makes it difficult for the figure to be posed in many standard ways. Standing at attention, this guy would look good in multiples. But, for those who like to use their figures in more imaginative ways, the hand/arm setup is somewhat limiting. The huge diaper crotch also prevents the figure from sitting in any natural way. Supposedly, that is an issue that will be corrected in later waves though it is unknown if Hasbro will go back and repair the original molds that were affected. Truth be told, I don't miss the O-ring on the figure. The waist and leg joint is different, but it still works. Once the crotch pieces are fixed to allow the figure to sit, then I think all will be well.

The figure really harkens back to the classic look of the Cobra army. The blue and yellow is closer to the look of the comic pack figures than it is the vintage action figures, but it is still the look that many associate with Cobra. That's a good thing as it makes the figure instantly recognizable to any casual passerby who is within the age demographic to remember Joe. The figure also fits with the Cobra Trooper from the set so you can have some similarity within your army without it all being the same figure over and over again. The other nice thing is that Hasbro deviated a bit from its formula with the Joe line. So far, almost all the 25th figures have been based on their vintage counterparts. This is a great way to get fans back into the concept, but there needs to be something new for the line to last long term. The Air Trooper works because he integrates with the other army builders in terms of color and mold. But, he is still something new that we haven't seen before. It's not risky like a Venomous Maximous, but it keeps the line from becoming nothing more than a stale remake of decades old favorites.

In the end, I am still not a convert to this style of figure. I think they are decent toys. But they are not anything in which I will ever be able to generate interest. My main issue with these figures, though, is that had the level of thought and care been put into the design of the ARAHC back in 2000 and 2001 or even the JvC modern collection in 2002, I think we would be in a much better place overall. I think it's great that Hasbro finally paid some attention to the Joe line and the mythos that surrounds it. Honestly, had these figures been released in 2002, I would have been all over them. But, after the messy way the original new sculpt Joe line turned out, I am too burned on anything other than my classics. Unfortunately, that leaves little for me to collect these days. However, if the few outlets who still cater to ARAH style fans take notes from the 25th Annivesary and make figures like this Air Trooper available in ARAH form, then everyone wins in the end.

This figure is just shipping right now. Hasbro also announced at the convention that this figure would be available on a single card early next year. So, army builders will have plenty of time to stockpile all the Air Troopers they want. We've also seen a couple of trends in the 25th Anniversary line already that tell me collectors aren't going to have issues finding the figures they want. First, Hasbro is repacking figures from earlier waves into new cases. So, even if you miss a figure, you should have a shot at it again. Second, Hasbro is working with retailers to get exclusive army builders out to collectors en masse. Let's face it, we've already gotten the Cobra Officer and Trooper at retail. The Trooper in a 5 pack. The Trooper in another 5 with this figure and a grey officer modeled after the Stinger Driver. Plus, Hasbro showed at the convention that Toys R Us will have an exclusive 5 pack of Trooper and Officers and another store will have an exclusive Hiss with a recolored Trooper. So, in the first 50 figures or so, we'll have seen the Trooper and Officer at least 8 times. That's not too shabby when nearly 20% of the line is dedicated to 2 popular army builders.